


We are our Choices

by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee), recklesslee



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: (kinda eventually), A little bit of angst, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Babies, Bipolar Even Bech Næsheim, Complete, Daddy Even, Developing Relationship, Doctor Isak, Even POV, Even is smitten immediately, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kid Fic, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Needy Even, Older Characters, POV Even Bech Næsheim, Pregnancy, Single Parent Even, The Balloon Squad (SKAM), Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24441124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklesslee/pseuds/iwritetropesnottragedies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklesslee/pseuds/recklesslee
Summary: Even is informed that one decision he made on a lonely night months ago has led to a new bump in the road. Now Even has another choice to make, and that just might change his life for the better.So no pressure.AKA one night stand leading to a hot single dad to be au.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim & Isak Valtersen, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, evak
Comments: 192
Kudos: 389





	1. News

“-and it’s yours.”

She was going too quickly. Too much was being said by Sonja and not one thing was being understood by Even. How was he supposed to understand what she was saying to him?

It was 23:00 on a Friday, and Even had just been woken from a heavy sleep. The first good one since his last depressive episode. He had had a good day, full of energy and events, and Even had fallen asleep so easily. Then there was a knock. It wasn’t gentle or kind, it was persistent and heavy, and honestly Even was worried for Sonja’s hand when he finally opened the door to her shaking frame.

“We need to talk.”

And Sonja did. She hadn’t stopped talking. Not through Even taking her light jacket, or taking her to the kitchen for some tea, or moving her to the living room when he realized that this conversation wasn’t ending, and they were both better off getting comfortable because sleep would not be returning any time soon tonight.

The words were beginning to penetrate Even’s muddled mind. “Sonja, we haven’t seen each other in months.”

She scoffed, clearly unimpressed with Even’s thought process, “That hardly matters. Pregnancies take some time to be noticed. I know it’s yours. What do you want to do about it?”

Sonja had always been practical. Even supposed it made no difference when she was faced with a bombshell. They had one night together, two or so months ago. An accumulation of a manic episode Even had been in the midst of and a breakup Sonja had just been party to. They had run into each other unexpectedly, high school sweethearts who hadn’t seen each other since graduation. Both lonely, both upset, and both just the slightest bit horny, so they found solace in each other’s arms. When it was over, they had shared a hug and wished each other fair well. That was supposed to be it. One night, a bad decision by Even that could have been worse. It might be awkward to see her at some high school reunion now, but hardly the most awkward thing to happen if Even were to attend one at Bakka anyways.

Now, Even took Sonja in. Her wan features, her limp hair, thin fingers wrapped around the chipped mug that Even had provided her with. She looked fragile, not at all like someone who was carrying a child within her. But then again, what did Even know of what pregnant women should look like? He focused on her eyes, as sharp and determined as when she entered his house to make sure this shock would be shared. She was staring directly at him, almost through him, and Even became abruptly aware he was taking too much time to answer her.

“Uh… what do you want to do?” He was nervous for her answer. Even had no idea what he wanted, but he didn’t want to be the one to make the decision.

“I am not getting an abortion.”

“Oh! Good! Or not?” Even felt relief at her words, but he didn’t know why.

“Don’t misunderstand me. I am all for choice. I am choosing not to, but I am not keeping the baby.” She placed the mug on the table and pulled her short hair behind her ears. She leaned forward and took Even’s hand into her own. “I am giving you an option.” Even cocked his head to the side, using his free hand to urge her to continue. “I am not ready to be a mother, but I am not the only person responsible for this baby. I will give this child up for adoption. Unless...”

Even knew where Sonja was going. “Unless I want to keep it?”

“Unless you want to keep it.” Sonja nodded her head.

Even longed to be in bed, to be having a very uncomfortable dream and nothing else. “Sonja, I don’t know what to say.”

She pat the hand she was still holding, and Even realized he was shaking. “You don’t have to make a decision now. This is a lot, and honestly, I have had more time than one night to think about this. I’ve only just decided myself. You deserved to know. This wasn’t exactly a conversation to have over the phone.” They both chuckled, a testament to just how fucked up the night had become. “Even. I am going to go now, give you some time to think. You don’t need to decide today, but when you know it would be nice if you let me know too.”

Even did not stand up even though Sonja had. She ran her hand through his hair, “I have an appointment at the doctors on Tuesday. I’ll text you the details if you are interested in coming.” She let herself out.

He didn’t know how long he sat on his couch. Even had so many thoughts running through his mind he was unsure he’d be able to focus ever again. One thing was certain though.

Even was not getting sleep tonight.

+

Even was not ready to be a father.

He spent the night tossing and turning. He was an artist. He had barely managed to graduate after extended study, and was only beginning to make a name for himself in graphic art. He had commissions, he had clients, and thanks to his parents he had an apartment to live in, but there was plenty he did not have. He did not have an abundance of food, or clothes, or money. Definitely not enough to take care of a child without a lot of hard work. Even wouldn’t be able to provide a child everything he or she would need. It would be foolish of him to entertain the idea, but…

He picked up his phone and dialed.

“Hello?” A sleepy voice answered on the fifth ring. Even glanced at the screen to notice it was 7:34. On a Saturday. He grimaced.

“Hey… Mikael.”

“What’s wrong?” He could hear the change in Mikael’s voice. He was awake now,

“Why would anything be wrong?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Even. You don’t call me, I call you. You text ridiculous gifs and hearts until I do. And never before noon, especially on a weekend. You know I don’t like it,” Even sighed loudly over the receiver conceding the point, “So what is going on Bech Næsheim? It must be important.”

“So… do you remember how I told you I slept with Sonja a while ago?” Even asked gently, fearing the response. He could hear the groan Mikael no doubt yelled into the receiver.

“What? Don’t tell me! She wants to rekindle that love affair from high school?” Even could hear the retching noises Mikael was making. “Don’t do it Even! I’ve been your best friend through a lot of shit, but no one can be that strong!” Even let the silence after that statement stretch until it was awkward, as he gathered the courage to tell Mikael the truth. “Even? I’m only kidding…unless I’m right…no… say it ain’t so?”

“She’s pregnant.”

If he had thought the previous silence was awkward, he was wrong. This one stretched onwards until Even feared Mikael may have hung up.

“Fuck.”

Even felt the huff of laughter escape him suddenly, hearing it echoed by his friend. “Yeah.”

“What is she going to do?”

Even explained the night’s events to Mikael.

“Shit,” Even could hear his own fingers tapping against the metal of his bed frame as he waited for Mikael’s wisdom. “So… what are you going to do?”

Even shared his thoughts from the night before. During his tossing and turning in bed, all the negative thoughts that were building in his head.

“I’m not ready to be a father.”

“No.”

“So, it would be best for both of us if we gave the baby up for adoption.”

“Okay.”

That was it? Nothing else to share with him? No thoughts or opinions to share on the matter? Even was frustrated by the complete lack of comment, “Okay? Okay Mikael? That’s all you have to say?”

Even heard the loud sigh over the phone. “What do you want me to say? You seem like you have it all worked out in your mind.”

“I want you to tell me what to do! I want you to tell me what you would do! I want you to tell me-” He could feel the tears begin to fall, and his breath begin to heave.

“Even. Do you know what you should do? You should breathe,” He did. “You should stop thinking about this alone.” Easier said than done. “You should get out of your bedroom and get yourself a glass of water. You should get changed and meet me. We should discuss your options in person. Does that sound okay?”

Even nodded, then whispered, “yes,” when he noticed Mikael couldn’t see him.

“Okay. We will do that. Is it okay if I call Elias? And Yousef?” He waited for Even’s affirmative. “Do you want me to tell them?” Again, he waited for Even to agree. “Alright. We will meet at the KB. And Even?”

He had just gotten his breath back. A plan was forming thanks to Mikael’s help. “Yeah?”

“If you can’t stop thinking about it, maybe focus on why it made you so upset that I agreed with your idea.”

+

Even stood outside of the coffee shop, gathering courage to make his way inside. He wanted to know what the guys thought, but he was afraid at the same time.

He shouldn’t have stood so close to the door though, because he was blocking it from anyone trying to get in.

“Excuse me.” A voice said.

Even hurried to move out of the way, glancing up just in time to catch the side profile of blond hair and a red snapback as the owner of the voice moved past him.

Even was caught off guard by the pale skin and soft curls that brushed his shoulder as the man entered the KB. Overwhelmed by the desire to see more of the man, he quickly made to follow the voice inside hoping to get a better look at the man. The man moved quickly though, and Even was quick to become distracted by the occupants of the coffee shop.

Even was the last to arrive at the KB.

He could see as Elias worried his hands over his head, and Yousef played with his snapback, that Mikael had told them. Mikael seemed at odds with his friends, calmly writing on a pad of paper he had clearly brought from home, as he sipped leisurely from the mug in front of him.

“Hi guys.” Even fell into the last seat at the table, breaking into a small smile at the sight of his friends. They never failed to bring a spark of happiness to even the hardest of times for Even. They had ordered for him, and Even wrapped his hands around the warm cup of tea much like Sonja had the night before.

“Hey man, I suppose we owe you congrats?” Elias clapped a hand to Even’s shoulder that fell off quite quickly after he was shoved by Yousef beside him. Elias rubbed his shoulder before shrugging towards Even chastened, “Just kidding, sorry.” Even shook his head, it was alright.

“Hey Even.” Yousef said gently as he returned Even’s smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Confused and overwhelmed Yousef, thanks for asking.”

Yousef’s smile widened, “No problem.” Even couldn’t help the huff of laughter that escaped him.

Mikael straightened from where he was slouched over the notepad in front of him, “We are here to help you with that anyways,” He said in reference to Even’s statement. “After all, we’re the only three working braincells you have, though sometimes I worry for Elias.”

“Thanks so much, Mikael.” Even said sarcastically, ignoring Elias’ indignant squawk. He really did need help, so there was no point in fighting the comment.

Mikael smirked, “We’re making a pros and cons list.” He happily sat through the course of groans that accompanied his statement.

“I don’t understand your love of lists,” Elias complained. His hand had returned to Even’s shoulder, an encouraging weight during what would no doubt turn into an entirely over the top showcase of Mikael’s love of putting things into order.

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” He sniffed in reply, “I already started while we were waiting, Even. I hope you don’t mind.” Even gestured for him to continue. “Okay. Cons: you’re not ready to be a father, you said that one yourself. Two: you decided it would be a good idea to become an artist, therefore you have no money.” He ticked off a note on the paper in front of him. “Three: your parents. How will they react? We don’t know. They could actually be a pro, but knowing you, actually telling them is a con in itself.” Even bobbed his head in agreement. “Okay. That’s three for cons so far, anyone have any more to add?”

Elias raised his hand. “You’re still pretty young.” Yousef nodded in agreement, and Mikael added the note to his con list.

“You’re single.” Yousef suggested.

Elias pulled a face, “Ladies love hot single dads.” He winked at Even, “And plenty of men love a daddy, so that probably won’t be a problem.” Even could feel the laugh bubble up within him. It was true though, a child wasn’t the easiest addition to his dating scene, and honestly his dating life was already pretty lacking lately. He quieted as he felt a frown pull at his lips. He thought of the red snapback he had seen earlier, checking the seats to see if he could spot the man from before but without luck. Even would have to work hard to get someone like that to give him the time of day regularly, let alone with a child. This could make an already awkward time dating even harder, and everyone already commented on Even’s desire for an epic romance. It was like he had no hope at all.

“You’re sleep schedule is really weird,” Yousef suggested, pulling Even out of his thought and getting them back on track.

“Is that really a con though?” Elias asked, “I mean so is a baby’s. If anything, they might have that in common.” The group laughed. Even felt like he wasn’t truly feeling it, because listing all of Even’s faults wasn’t the best way to boost his spirits.

“I’m adding it anyways,” Mikael decided, “You would need to regulate a baby’s sleeping at some point.” Even hung his head, unable to see a point in continuing if even a joke was actually going to be a problem. But Mikael seemed to notice this because the next thing he said was, “Maybe we should list some pros for a bit too, to balance our chart?”

“Babies are cute.” Elias said.

“Yes, thank you for that amazing observation,” Mikael said, but he did write the pro.

“Raising a child is a gift,” Yousef suggested, but it sounded more like a question.

“Even? Do you want to offer something?” Mikael asked.

Even sighed but gathered the courage to say some of what he was thinking, “Well… maybe the baby might have my eyes?” Mikael wrote it down.

“Oh man! The baby would look like you, which is super weird to think about but also cool.” Elias agreed.

“You can impart your wisdom and beliefs on a baby. Make sure a kid has a chance to grow in an open and accepting environment.” Yousef added.

“The kid can learn from me, be an artist too?” Even said.

“You can teach a baby to be kind like you!” Yousef suggested.

“I can listen to the baby laugh, and maybe make him or her laugh too?” Even asked.

“Oh my gosh! We would be uncles!” Elias yelled out.

“These are meant to be pros for Even.” Mikael reminded them.

“That’s totally a pro for him. We are awesome.” Yousef leaned forward to high five Elias.

“We would get to hang out with a mini you!” Elias said excitedly, letting his hands move about with his words, “And maybe I could teach baby you to like spice!”

“And I can teach mini you to play basketball!” Yousef added, he seemed to be feeding off of Elias’ energy, “And I could teach the baby to dance! Give them a fighting chance to have even an ounce of rhythm unlike you.” Even laughed feeling brighter than any other point in the last 24 hours.

“Okay,” Mikael interrupted, “Do we all agree that a pro would be that Even would be an amazing father?”

“Yes!” Yousef and Elias both yelled, then made apologies to the other guests sitting in the nearest vicinity to them.

But Even wasn’t so sure. He had gotten caught up in his friend’s words. In the thoughts of a child that might have his eyes, or Sonja’s bright blonde locks, in small hands and high voices. It sounded lovely, but Even didn’t trust himself. At the end of the day Even was plagued with the worry. “I’m just worried I’m not ready.” He told his friends.

“There’s no being ready for a baby.” Yousef said after a moment’s consideration.

Mikael cocked his head, “I’m not sure where to add that Yousef.”

Yousef shook his head, unsure, “Maybe nowhere yet, but it is a response to one of Even’s cons. There is no being ready for a baby. That shouldn’t be a con. You might not have been planning for this, and that’s fair. But even families who planned and prepared for a baby don’t actually know what exactly they are going to get.” Yousef fell back in his chair, looking straight at Even. “I am not saying that your feelings are invalid, but maybe we aren’t focusing on the most important thing.”

“And what is that?” Even asked.

“Oh, I know that one.” Elias said. He replaced his hand on Even’s shoulder patting it. “Do you want to keep the baby?”

Even did not answer.

“Well. I think we have come to the big question,” Mikael agreed. “I can write as many pros and cons as you would like, but until you know the answer to that question it doesn’t really matter.” Yousef and Elias nodded. “Even, for what it’s worth, we aren’t worried about you being a good dad. You have to decide for yourself. Here take this.” Mikael ripped the paper he had been writing from the notepad and handed it to Even. “Let us know what you think.” He stood from his chair, signaling to his friends that this meeting was over as everyone scrambled to follow suit.

After quite the intense group hug, Even was left with a shoulder that was sure to be bruised after so many pats to his back; unkempt hair from multiple hands running through it, and a ripped paper that had a list of pros much longer than cons. He looked at the paper in his hands and noticed a pro that was written by Mikael but had not been mentioned by any of them in conversation.

Even left for his home with those words running through his mind. _Being worried about being a good dad is a big sign that you care. Caring is a big sign you’ll be a good dad._

+

It was midday on Sunday when Even got up.

He had spent his night in and out of sleep but always thinking about the possibilities. He could be a dad. His friends thought he could be a great one. He would have their support and probably his parents’ too. He could raise a child that had his eyes, maybe his laugh too. He could teach his kid to draw, to be kind and compassionate. He could share only the best stories and the best movies with his child. He could make sure his baby had the best taste in film and music. His house wouldn’t be so empty. His passions wouldn’t feel so empty. There would be a little mini Even that he could give all the best parts of himself, and in return maybe he could learn from his child too.

Even picked up his phone from the side table and opened his group chat with the boys.

_I’ve made a decision._

Yousef: _That’s great._

Elias: _Woo! What is it?_

Mikael: _Maybe it’s time to call your mom._

He was right, and Even would, but there was a more important call to make first.

She answered on the third ring, “Hello?”

“Hey Sonja, it’s me. Even.” He fiddled with the sheets under his hand as he waited for her response.

The line was quiet for a moment. “Hi, sorry it was a bit loud on my end, how’s it going?” She asked.

“I want it.” Even said it, and he had never been more confident he was making the right decision, not even when he had been clouded by the throes of mania and sure that the world would bend before him because it had no other option. “The baby. I want the baby.”

“Okay.” Even could hear as her phone passed from one hand to the other, “Than the baby is yours. I am assuming you’re coming to the appointment then? I sent you the location yesterday.”

“Yes, I got it. I’ll be there.” 

“Alright. The appointment is at 10:00 am.” Sonja told him.

“Great.” Even said, “What name do I give at the reception?”

“Doctor Valtersen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are trying this. 
> 
> Warning that I have no actual knowledge of the medical field or experience of pregnancies. So we are winging this.


	2. First Appointments

Tuesday came quickly.

The sun was shining down on Even in bed and he already felt hot and bothered under it’s light.

Even woke earlier than his alarm, ate a meal he hardly remembered cooking (let alone what it tasted like) and boarded the bus to make his way to the appointment. This of course meant he was early, and Even had no option but to kill some time. There was no chance he would wait in the hallway alone and very obviously out of place until Sonja arrived. So Even made his way to a coffee shop within sight of the medical building and ordered a tea that would hopefully provide a caffeine rush to combat his lack of sleep. He hoped that simultaneously it would have enough calming ingredients to help settle his roiling stomach.

Even glanced over to the clock above the counter to figure out how long he had to wait before heading over to the appointment and read 9:21. Great. He turned his attention to the small stack of sugar packets in front of him and began to add them to his drink. He found his eyes being drawn once again to the counter, or rather to the strikingly familiar blond curls in front of the counter that had caught his attention. Even felt like he had seen those curls before, like they had visited him in his dreams.

Even watched these curls as they ordered an ungodly amount of coffee. He watched as the hand connected to these curls ran its long fingers through the blond mane, getting caught in ringlets and untangling themselves in turn. He watched those same hands reach into the back pocket of the trousers on the long legs that they were attached to, in order to give the payment for the five or six coffees they received in return. He watched those legs turnabout and head in his direction, and now Even heard the abrupt cough to get his attention. He dragged his eyes from those legs, up past those hands, and again caught sight of the blond curls before focusing on the green eyes that were staring at him in a confused manner.

Even followed his gaze and realized he was pouring the last packet of sugar into his tea, as he left a litter of what must have been at least eight packets of sugar lying on the counter. He felt his cheeks heat as he lifted his gaze back to the green eyes now regarding him with bemusement, “Oh, sorry. Did you want some?” He asked, lifting the half empty packet in his hand up to the blond in offering.

“Uh…thanks.” He took the packet and poured it into one of the cups in front of him. “You may have just saved me from a sad coffee, but you haven’t helped my coworkers at all.” He said, gesturing to the remainder of the coffees standing on the ledge of the counter.

Even ran his hand through his hair, ducking his head down and looking towards his much too sweet tea. It would probably taste gritty now. “Right. I can help with that.” He quickly got the attention of the barista behind the counter and asked for more sugar.

The blond was smiling at him now, though Even couldn’t tell if it was genuine or out of awkwardness. “Sorry. I’m just a little out of it today. Big appointment and things. So, I have clearly decided to give myself a sugar coma rather than deal with it.” It was important to Even that the man who was in possession of such shiny curls did not think that he was weird. His smile widened, and Even could see the barest hint of teeth, so he assumed his actions were more endearing than embarrassing.

“I get it. I’d rather be anywhere than my own appointments half the time. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you’re there for someone else, or even that you’re the doctor giving the news. I find that helps with the jitters, after all you’re the one with all the power.” He looked away from Even to accept the sugar from the barista and began to arrange the coffees in front of him. “I don’t know if that would work for you, but maybe it’s something to keep in mind?”

Even nodded and leaned toward the blond to help him re-lid the coffees, watching as those distracting hands began to reorder the drinks into a more easily manageable pile. He took hold of the last coffee and handed it to the blond. Allowing his fingers to linger and make contact with the man. He smiled at the sharp intake of breath, and the way the blond’s eyes followed Even’s hand as it withdrew. Even waited until he had his attention again, “That’s a wonderful suggestion,” Even licked his lips and enjoyed how the green eyes followed the movement. “I’ll be sure to try it.”

The blond cleared his throat and stepped back from Even toward the door. His cheeks were tinted red. “Right. Well good luck then, with your appointment…” He shuffled back further towards the exit.

“Even.”

“What?” The blond cocked his head to the side in confusion. Even thought it was adorable.

“My name is Even.” He said as confidently as he could as he stepped past the blond and held open the door to make the blond’s exit easier.

“Oh.” He smiled sweetly, teeth on full display. “Right. Well good luck Even. Maybe I’ll see you around some time,” and he left the coffee shop.

Even let the door fall shut behind him and then returned to his too sweet coffee. He took a seat at an empty table and wasted away the rest of his time before the appointment by alternating between undesirable sips of cooling tea and doodling blond curls on a stack of napkins he had taken from the counter.

+

Even arrived 5 minutes before the appointment and was ushered into a room to wait with Sonja for their doctor to arrive. The two barely got their greetings out before the door opened to a tall woman with a braid who wasted no time in getting comfortable in the swivel chair before them. Even leaned forward to introduce himself but was stopped short with a hand in his face.

“No. no. I can guess.” The woman read the papers in front of her before placing them on her lap and regarding the pair in front of her. “Right. Well, hello. You must be Sunny.” She took in their confused looks and glanced back at the paper, “Sorry, Sonja. I’m Dr. Skrulle, and I will be your OB-GYN for the duration of your pregnancy. Yay! And congratulations of course!” She smiled brightly at the two in front of her.

Even glanced confusedly at Sonja who shrugged at him, before turning towards Dr. Skrulle. “Sorry, but I thought we had a Dr. Valtersen with us today?”

Dr Skrulle nodded excitedly, “Yes! Of course. That might be confusing. Dr. Valterson is completing his residency here. You will be working with Dr. Valtersen, but I have come to introduce myself because I will be dropping in from time to time to check up on you. I will be following your pregnancy and will be providing support to you and Dr. Valtersen when you need it. I hope that clears up any confusion!” It did not, but before either Sonja or Even could get a word out, Dr. Skrulle said, “It did? Great. Then it’s time Dr. Valtersen comes in and introduces himself. It’s very rude he wasn’t with me to begin with, but don’t you worry you’ll come to love him.” And with that she left the room and gestured for someone outside to come in.

Even felt his face drop with the shock that overtook him as he saw the man from the coffee shop enter the room. He couldn’t tell how he looked, but he assumed it must resemble something like the blank look that was currently on Dr. Valtersen’s face. The two men stared at each other across the room, until Even felt Sonja take his hand from beside him and gently inquire, “Everything alright?”

Dr. Valtersen’s eyes followed their hands before he cleared his throat and said, “Sorry. A minor brain freeze there for a second.” He smiled, but it was tight and didn’t reach his eyes. “I am Dr. Valtersen, I’ll be working with you for the duration of your pregnancy.” He moved forward to shake both Sonja and Even’s hands, rather tightly in Even’s case, before sitting down to collect the papers Dr. Skrulle had left for him.

“Who was that before then?” Sonja asked.

Dr. Valtersen looked up from the papers. “Dr. Skrulle? She is the attending OB-GYN who will be working with us on your pregnancy. I’m a resident here, so while I will be working with you the most, Dr. Skrulle will be with me and ultimately will be present for the birth of your baby.” He stated calmly, looking at Sonja but not once glancing toward Even.

It made sense. “You look really young to be a doctor.” Even noted, hoping to lighten the mood in the room. He leaned back when Isak regarded him with a cold stare.

In a clipped tone he replied, “I assure you I am capable despite my age.”

Even back peddled, “I didn’t mean to imply you weren’t.”

“It’s fine. Let’s start the appointment, I don’t want to waste your time.” He turned to the computer by him and opened up a document, before standing and arranging Sonja on the seat and clipping machine’s and lines, and tubes to her. “This first appointment is just to get the basic checkup and family history. So, I’ll be preforming a few tests, and asking a lot of questions. Sound good?” He smiled at Sonja reassuringly.

“Great.”

Even watched helplessly as Sonja had her blood pressure taken, was poked, and prodded with needles, and left to take a urine test for Dr. Valtersen. He couldn’t do anything to help but stay out of the way, and he felt a bit like an intruder as he was ignored for more important tasks. The room felt hotter than the summer sun beating down on him as Even sat in awkward silence until she returned, wringing his hands together and trying to get the doctor’s attention while he seemed to be looking at everything and nothing at once.

“Well I can confirm you are pregnant and based on the information you’ve provided us when making the appointment we are looking at about 9 weeks along. We can provide you with a due date of December 20th.” Dr. Valtersen smiled at Sonja. “Congratulations.”

Sonja sat next to Even and took his hand to stop his nervous moving, “Thank you.” She said simply.

“I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but your paperwork only informed us of your presence Sonja. Did you come with…” He trailed off and looked towards Even with a question in his eyes.

Even gulped, “I am the father, Dr. Valtersen,” he confirmed.

The doctor sighed and nodded his head, “Call me Isak. We will be around each other quite a bit.” Even watched as he clenched and unclenched his hand before gesturing to the computer. “Can I get your full name please, for the records?”

“Bech Næsheim. Even Bech Næsheim.”

“Great.” Isak jotted it down. “I am going to ask some personal questions. Let me know if I am going too fast or if you feel uncomfortable okay? History of heart disease?”

“On my dad’s side.” Sonja said. They looked to Even who shook his head.

“Okay, any major surgeries?” Two negative responses. “Alright, any history of health conditions or developmental exceptionalities?”

“I have an allergy to bananas.” Sonja said.

“My grandad was diabetic.” Even said.

Isak took note of both. “Any history of mental illness?”

Sonja looked to Even and rubbed her hand up and down his shoulder. Isak looked up from the computer and took in the scene. He gestured for Even to speak. Taking a deep breath Even stated, “I have bipolar disorder.” He studied Isak’s face for a sign of judgement, but the blond just nodded and added it to the growing document in front of him.

The quiet gave way to a possibility Even hadn’t considered. He asked quietly, “Is there a chance the baby could be bipolar?” He squeezed Sonja’s knee next to him as he waited for Isak’s response.

Isak frowned, taking his time to answer the question. “Well… family history of bipolar disorder does come with a higher risk for children.” Even felt his hands begin to shake, and Isak must have noticed as well because his tone was less chilly when he said, “Hey… but that does not mean that your child inheriting bipolar disorder is 100%. This is meant to give us a better understanding of what to look out for in your baby and during their childhood. Nothing is certain. We are giving your baby the best treatment for his or her specific needs. Okay?”

Even nodded. This was something that Even would need to file away for later. There was nothing that he could do to help the situation now anyways. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Again, Isak brushed off the apology. “Why don’t we stop here for now? We have the information we need, and you’re bound to feel tired and sick sitting here.” He nodded to Sonja.

“Yes. Thank you, Isak.” Sonja said.

“Right. Well you should expect the fatigue and morning sickness to continue. I will send you home with a sheet of tips to help with the changes you are going through. I will also be meeting with you once a month for this first trimester so we will make an appointment before you leave today. Because we’re already 9 weeks along, we will make this next appointment for two weeks from now though. I will also provide you with my work information so that you can contact me with any questions, worries, or changes you might have.” Isak looked to Sonja and Even to make sure they got all of that, “Well thanks for coming in, and I will see you two next month. Congratulations again.” Isak stood from his chair to shake Sonja’s hand, he turned to Even and nodded his head in acknowledgement before bolting to the door and making his exit.

Even stared in the direction that the blond had just left. He only turned to Sonja when he heard her sigh.

“Well that was a bit awkward.”

Even smiled, embarrassed at her observation. “Yeah.”

“He didn’t seem to like you.” She poked his cheek. “I don’t know how though.”

“We met at the coffee shop next door before the appointment. I think he was surprised to see me.”

“Did you bud ahead of him? Spill his drink? Somehow otherwise ruin his day?” Though it could seem like a joke, Sonja was completely serious.

“No,” Even denied, “I actually thought we had hit it off pretty well.” He looked back in the direction of the door, unsure what to do.

“Well whatever it was, he ran so fast out of the room we didn’t even get to explain the special circumstances to our little situation.” She patted Even’s knee and then stood to head to the door. “We’ll have to explain it all at the next appointment.”

As she made her way to the exit, Even had sudden clarity on why seeing Even present at this appointment may have been a bit awkward for Isak.

“Fuck.”

+


	3. Plans and Actions

Even woke with just enough time to warn the boys he would be late to Mikael’s. They had all agreed to meet up a couple days after the first doctor’s appointment for an update, but Even underestimated just how tired he would be after days of completing commissions, working at odds and ends, and trying his best to avoid overthinking about the baby causing a complete upheaval of his life as he knew it. It didn’t help that the days were long, his apartment was lacking air conditioning, and Even had so much nervous energy that he spent a lot of his free time out in the summer heat rather than sticking to his sleep schedule. He shot a quick text off to Sonja, asking how she was feeling today and stood up to head to the shower before heading out to his friend’s.

His mind was occupied by twice the confusion lately. He thought of small hands while showering, of his eyes reflected in a new face, he thought of Sonja’s bright blond hair on a small child. He couldn’t stop thinking about what his baby would look like. He had begun to doodle little scenarios that entered his head. A baby sleeping, a father holding his child’s hand, and a million other images that caught his imagination. But when he didn’t draw his baby, he found himself doodling larger hands. A blonde head, like Sonja’s, but curled ringlets. He tried to force his thoughts away from images of the doctor, but he would start with an image of a baby sleeping in a crib and end with a drawing of two heads asleep on a bed next to it.

Even sighed as he chose his outfit, loose jeans and a looser gray hoodie, and began to collect his wallet and keys to prepare for his exit. Even didn’t really feel ready to meet up with his friends. He didn’t know what he wanted to tell them or what he wanted to keep to himself. He didn’t know how to broach the subject of children, or his attraction to his child’s doctor. He didn’t want to be the center of attention today, but he knew that was impossible. With the weight of uncertainty on his shoulders, and his key in his hand, Even made his way to Mikael’s.

+

“So, give us the deets.” Mikael had barely opened the door before the words were out of his mouth.

Even ignored him, pushing past the door and leaning down to take off his shoes. “You better have something to eat already set up here. I’m not talking before I have at least one plate in my stomach.” He waved to Elias in the living room and smiled appreciatively at Yousef as he handed Even a plate piled high with meat and potatoes as he made his way out of the kitchen. “You are a god among men.” He stated reverently, laughing at the wink Yousef shot his way.

He sat next to Elias, shoving his feet from the couch and watching him play Fifa. Yousef sat next to him, and Mikael took the armchair next to Yousef. Even ignored Mikael’s glare as his best friend waited for Even to speak. True to his word, Even did not utter another word before he had polished the plate clean. “Is there anymore?”

Mikael scoffed, “No you hyena. You’ve gotten your meal. We want the details.” He took Even’s empty plate from his hands and headed to the kitchen to refill it despite his words.

Even waited for him to return, but still didn’t feel ready to broach the subject. “Tell me about your lives first!” He begged. “We will be talking about me enough. How’s everything going guys?”

“Family is good.” Elias said, eyes on the screen as he finished up the round. “Nothing new with work, nothing new with girls.” Even nodded. That tended to be the case with Elias.

Yousef ran his hands through his hair, “Work is good, the kids are sweet and really taking to the dance lessons…” His cheeks reddened as he glanced at Elias, “Sana is good.” He endured Even’s whoop, Mikael’s pats on his back, and even the good-natured eye roll from Elias. He had had a crush on Elias’ sister since the beginning of university, but he had only recently gotten her to agree to go on a date with him. That first date had turned into 4 months together quickly, and everyone was happy for him.

“And I,” Mikael began, “Am boring and alone and never make any bad decisions, so I must live through yours.”

“That’s not nice,” Even whined, but he had run out of excuses to keep him from beginning the conversation. “It went well.”

The boys all waited for him to continue. Elias ended the game, Mikael turned the tv off, and Yousef smiled at him encouragingly, “And?”

“And it was awkward, but it was good. Sonja is definitely pregnant. She peed in a cup, and had blood tests, and I stood around uselessly until I had to share my medical history with someone I don’t really know.” Even shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know what else you want to know.”

“Did you see it?” Elias asked.

“No. Apparently we had the option, but there isn’t too much too see on a first appointment, and Sonja didn’t want to get her stomach wet with gel. We’ll get the sonogram at the next appointment.”

“You’ll be able to show that to us, right?” Yousef smiled.

Even returned it. “Yeah, I think so.”

Mikael sighed. “I honestly thought you’d have some hot gossip for us. I guess we will have to wait until the next appointment to get to the good stuff.”

Even stuck his tongue out at his friend, “Sorry to disappoint. But yeah, next time we get the preliminary tests back. So, I am pretty excited to go back, even if it’s likely to be a bit awkward.” He could tell he piqued his friends’ interests when each head turned to him.

“Why would it be awkward to go back Even?” He could see the glee in Mikael’s eyes.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed being the source of entertainment for his friends, but Even had always been one to share. He thrived in groups and having others help to work through his thoughts. His therapist encouraged him to talk, and his friends knew him better than he knew himself most of the time. They might laugh and joke with him, but they never judged him. “I may have gotten off on the wrong foot with the doctor…”

He could see the concern in their eyes, as Yousef asked gently, “They didn’t make you uncomfortable because of your situation, did they?” Elias leaned forward and Mikael frowned. They looked as if they were ready to storm the office and give the medical staff something to talk about. The boys had always been supportive of him, but they grew even more protective after his episode in high school. Even would forever be appreciative of them for that.

“Not at all, he was even understanding of my worries about my mental health. It’s just that we didn’t really get around to talking about the situation between Sonja and I.’ Even admitted.

“Why not?” Mikael asked.

“Well, he kind of booked it out of the room as fast as he could.”

Mikael was like a dog looking for a bone. “Why did he do that, Even? Why did you say you got off on the wrong foot?” He looked at Even with a smirk. He could always figure out Even faster than the others.

“I may have flirted with him.”

Elias let out a shocked noise. “How? In the room? In front of Sonja and everything?” He pushed Even into Yousef who was laughing.

Even joined in before clarifying, “No! At the coffee shop, before the appointment. I didn’t know he was a doctor.”

Elias whistled. “Look at you! Acting all nervous before an appointment, but you still have time to flirt!”

Even blushed. “I didn’t mean to!” He defended himself. “He was just there all of the sudden! His hair was so curly and blond! His hands looked nice, not to mention his legs! And he sounded so nice when he talked to me! I couldn’t help but flirt a little. You should have seen his blush and how he stammered a little. It was so cute!”

“Oh no. He’s waxing poetic.” Mikael said.

“He’s got it bad.” Yousef agreed, shaking his head.

“So quick!” Elias laughed. “Shouldn’t you be more worried about the whole baby thing?”

“I guess that’s not a problem now.” Mikael said. “You don’t have to have the I’m a dad speech. He already knows.”

Even groaned. “That’s just it! He knows I flirted with him. He even seemed to be flirting back. Then I show up at his work with a pregnant woman in tow and what am I supposed to say, ‘hi I’m the father of this child, but it was a result of a one-night stand. I didn’t say anything because I really got distracted when I noticed how your hair looks like spun gold in the sunlight?’ I didn’t even get the chance to say anything! He didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

“Oh. I could see how that would be awkward.” Yousef agreed.

“I don’t think so.” Mikael disagreed.

“No?” Even asked incredulously, “What would you suggest I do?”

“Well, exactly what you said. He doesn’t know you’re not with Sonja, right?” Even nodded. “Then you tell him you’re not with Sonja. He isn’t left embarrassed he flirted with a man in a relationship, and the ball is in his court to make the next move, or at least show his interest. Don’t overcomplicate things. Keep it simple.”

Even stared at him, impressed.

“He’s right you know.” Yousef said.

“Best way to make your intentions clear.” Elias agreed.

“When do I do this?” Even asked.

“Right away.” Mikael said.

“First chance you get.” Yousef agreed.

“Maybe talk to him alone if you get the chance,” Elias suggested. “You don’t want to embarrass him in front of Sonja… or yourself.” The others nodded in agreement.

Even looked around at his friends, appreciative of their support. “Okay. I’ll do it.” Once again, his friends came through and helped him create a plan.

+

“Why are you so nervous?” Sonja looked unimpressed as they waited in the doctor’s office for their appointment to begin. “You keep shaking your leg. It’s annoying.”

Even tried to still himself. “Sorry.”

“Does this have to do with the weird atmosphere from last time? You don’t want the doctor to hate you? You know, if this is going to be a problem, we could ask for a different doctor to work with us. I don’t want to deal with all this nervous energy and secondhand embarrassment.”

Even rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad.” He looked to Sonja for confirmation, but she just continued to look at him unimpressed. “Ok. It’s a bit awkward.” He conceded. “It’s just that I might have flirted with him because he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”

Sonja clutched at her heart in mock offence. “In front of our child and everything?” She pushed Even’s shoulder when he looked down, embarrassed. “I’m only kidding. I know you well enough to tell when you find someone hot. It’s fair. He is cute, but that doesn’t explain the awkwardness.”

Even ruffled his hair for something to do with his hands. “He didn’t expect to see me here, I guess. And like you said, we didn’t really explain our situation.”

Sonja laughed. “Oh good. That’s an easy fix.”

Even was skeptical. “How is that?”

“It’s obvious? We tell him today.”

“You sound so much like Mikael.” He smiled at the look of disgust she shot him, but Even still doubted things would be that easy. He didn’t have time to argue however, because the door opened and in walked the blond god.

“Good afternoon!” Isak said brightly, refusing to look at either Sonja or Even. “I have the results from your tests, and we can set up the ultrasound to get a look at the baby. Hopefully, we can get us out of here as quick as can be; once we’re sure everything is going well.” He glanced up quickly, looking for confirmation from Sonja as his eyes darted past Even.

Sonja cleared her throat. “Actually, I wanted to make sure you understood the situation here.”

“I’m sorry, the situation?” Isak looked at her in question and finally looked to Even to see if he knew what Sonja was talking about. Even shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

“Yes. Even and I aren’t together.” She stated it so simply, as if it were completely obvious, and Even could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He looked to Isak, his eyes wide and mouth open in surprise, darting a look between Sonja and Even. “I let Even know because he deserved to, and he made the decision to be in the baby’s life. So, we aren’t together. We weren’t together before either, you know, besides in the biblical sense.”

Even began to cough in hopes of cutting her off. “Okay. Thank you, Sonja.” He looked to Isak, surprised to see his eyes settled on Even, not looking away at all like Even had expected. It made Even nod at the blond in confirmation, maintaining eye contact and licking his lips, he repeated Sonja’s words. “We’re not together.”

Even reveled in the small smile that broke onto the blond’s face. “Okay. Thank you for letting me know.” He blushed so prettily, glancing down from Even’s gaze and fiddling with the things on his desk. “Shall we move on?” He waited for their confirmation. “The results are all clear; everything looks good so far and nothing you’ve described sounds out of the ordinary or like a cause for worry. Things look good for us to get the ultrasound set up, and we are far enough along that we might be able to hear the heartbeat.”

He smiled as Even let out a noise of surprise. Reaching out to take Sonja’s hand beside him, Even said. “I thought it might be too early for anything like that. It’s only our second appointment.”

“Nope. Things seem very promising so we can at least try right?” Isak stood from his seat. “I’ll just get everything we need to set up. Sonja, did you want to sit onto the chair?” He made sure Sonja was sat comfortably before making his exit.

Sonja let out a loud sigh when the door fell closed. “This isn’t fair.” She complained.

Even laughed. “What?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and above her belly. “I am the one carrying the baby for nine months and suffering sore feet and morning sickness, but you’re the one that gets to flirt with the hot doctor?” She glared at Even, but it held no heat. “I forgot just how charming you are Even. It’s really annoying.”

Even smiled at her and moved to brush her hair from her face as they waited. “Thank you, Sonja. You have somehow made me feel both good and bad, but that feeling is getting eclipsed by the fact that Isak is really cute and getting things ready for us to see the baby for the first time.”

Sonja let her hands fall from her chest and reached up to poke Even’s cheek. “It is pretty exciting isn’t it? You get to see your baby for the first time.”

It didn’t take very long to get everything set up when Isak returned. They tried to hear the heartbeat with no success, but Isak promised they would try again at the next appointment. He suggested instead to focus on seeing the baby. Even held Sonja’s hand as Isak slathered the gel across her stomach and didn’t complain once as she squeezed his hand from its coldness.

Even sat quietly, reverently staring at the image on the screen. He listened as Sonja asked questions, and as Isak patiently answered them. He marveled as Isak explained what they were looking at and how the baby was no bigger than a peach. He continued to stare, transfixed long after Isak stopped talking.

“Did we want a photo?” Isak asked, breaking the quiet.

Even nodded excitedly, looking to Sonja who shook her head. Turning to Isak he asked, “Is it possible to get more than one?”

Isak smiled. “For your parents?”

“Something like that...” Even replied, a bit embarrassed that he had been planning to provide one to his friends.

“Well, we can print as many as you like.” Isak confirmed, and Even smiled with relief.

“Maybe you could show me again where the baby is?” Even asked. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to remember, and I’m sure my friends will make fun of me if I can’t point my baby out, let alone explain what it looks like.”

Isak reached out to the screen, tracing the outline of the baby for Even, indicating top and bottom. “You could tell them one thing for sure.” Isak said glancing at Sonja before his eyes landed on Even. “Your baby is going to be beautiful.” His tone was so sure, so certain, that Even felt the flutter of butterflies in his stomach.

“And on that note, I have to pee.” Sonja began to clamber down from her chair, accepting Even’s hand as she made a quick exit from the room.

Even watched as Isak tried to look busy, embarrassed at his words to Even.

“Would you be interested in going out at some point?” Even asked, emboldened by the sweet pink of the doctor’s cheek. “For a coffee, I mean. Or a movie? Or a dinner? Or really anything you might be interested in?” He was fascinated by the way Isak’s pale skin coloured further.

Isak glanced up at Even, smiling before darting his eyes down once again. “That might be nice.” He whispered.

“Yeah?” Even asked, moving forward to lessen the space between them. He was shocked the blond would agree so readily. Perhaps if he were closer, he’d be able to read the emotions in Isak’s green eyes; he’d be able to see the blond was certain.

Isak lifted his gaze to meet Even’s eyes. “Yeah.” He confirmed.

“Great.” Even stepped back when the door opened signaling Sonja’s return. He helped her to gather her things, taking the printouts Isak handed to him. Armed with the photos and the promise of a date, Even smiled as he exited the room, waving goodbye to a flustered Isak.

He was halfway down the hall when he turned heel and bounded back to the room.

“Do you need my number?”

Isak looked startled at the door opening unexpectedly, before smiling. “I have it here. But I didn’t ask you out, so I won’t text you first.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Even asked confusedly.

Isak smiled wider, shaking his head. “Even, you already have my number.” He had provided it to them at their first appointment.

Even ruffled his hair, embarrassed as he remembered. “Right.” He said, backing out of the room. “I’ll text first.”

Isak nodded, turning back to his computer with a soft smile gracing his lips. “I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious thank you to anyone who has read this and given me any form of encouragement on this!
> 
> I will note again that I have no knowledge of the medical field so it is more a means to an end than any real comprehensive knowledge.
> 
> Thanks for taking a moment to read it! If you have any thoughts, I'd love to know what you think!


	4. Heartbeats Raising

Even had gotten Isak to agree to meet up for coffee, hoping to make up for how the last time they had been at a coffee shop together, Even had ruined Isak’s ability to enjoy both the drink’s taste and the energy it usually gave him. At least, that was what he had been told by the blond. Even would have taken anything Isak was willing to offer him, so he wasn’t going to complain about having to take a little blame as well.

They had been texting for two weeks, on and off, as Even tried to arrange a time when they were both free to meet up. With Even seeing Sonja more often and juggling temp jobs to begin saving for a new rainy day fund for the baby, and Isak being a doctor, there wasn’t actually that much free time to find. They had finally agreed to a lunch date at the KB Even frequented, because he learned Isak had been there before as well, as it turned out to be relatively close to Isak’s apartment. Even had noted that piece of information just in case it became useful in the future.

Now Even was finishing his hair in the mirror as he made a note of where his wallet and keys were. He was just washing his hands when he heard the beep of his phone, signaling he had new messages.

Isak: _We agreed to 13:30 right?_

_Yes._

Isak: _Ok. Good. Don’t be late._

_I won’t be. I am leaving soon._

Isak: _Good._ _Me too._

_I can’t wait._

Isak: _Don’t be embarrassing._

Isak: _Me neither._

Even smiled at the messages, before looking to the other unopened message.

Sonja: _I hate you. Have fun._

_:)_

Even made his way down the street and into the KB. He thought of ordering, to calm his nerves, but he didn’t want to miss Isak enter or finish his drink before the blond had even arrived. To save himself from just waiting around, he opened the group chat he shared with the boys and reread the messages where he had asked opinions on what he should wear.

Mikael: _Pretend you can hear me wolf whistling before I say this: Nothing._

Elias: _I concur. Nothing would be the best option. Really shock him with your boldness._

Yousef: _Blue jean jacket, white shirt, black jeans, and your cleanest pair of running shoes. You’re going for coffee not to a ball._

_Thank you, Yousef. You’re the only real friend I have._

Mikael: _Don’t boo me when I’m right._

Elias: _Hateful. See if we help you next time._

_Only Yousef gets to hear how it goes._

Mikael: _Noooo!_

Elias: _That’s just mean._

Yousef: _Try being nicer?_

_You did this to yourselves._

“Am I interrupting something?” Even’s head bolted up to look at Isak. The blond smiled. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Even stood up, unsure whether to go for a hug or some sort of pat on the back. He ended up just sort of standing awkwardly. Isak looked equally unsure, hands skirting around the bottom of his t-shirt, and that helped to ease some of Even’s nerves. There was just something so endearing about someone so handsome acting in such a sweetly shy manner. “Shall we go order?”

Even offered to pay. “After all, I ruined the last drink.” He winked at Isak who blushed, but didn’t refrain from choosing the largest, most caffeine and sugar filled concoction available at the shop. He laughed at the barista and then Even. Even was sure he was wearing the same horrified expression as the woman behind the counter. It took him a moment to compose himself. “And I’ll have a green tea.” He placed his hand on Isak’s shoulder as they waited for the drinks to be made. “I fear for your life.” He said sincerely.

Isak scoffed. “I’m a doctor its fine.”

“How do you even sleep?”

“I don’t. No rest for the wicked.” Even took in the bags under Isak’s eyes and raised a hand to brush his fingers across Isak’s cheek. He delighted in the way Isak seemed to lean into it but didn’t say anything before their drinks arrived.

“Tell me about your work?” Even asked as they took their seats in the bustling coffee shop.

Isak was in his first year of residency after studying to be a doctor at the same university Even had attended; he had originally wanted to work with children because he found children easiest to talk about and to. He hated making small talk and found parents didn’t care about how awkward he was, and kids were great conversationalists on their own, so he didn’t have to be. When deciding between pediatrician or obstetrician for specialization, Isak found himself more drawn to the process of pregnancy and the thrill that was being in a hospital and bringing a baby into the world, so he decided to become an obstetrician. He found Dr. Skrulle as confusing as Even had. He had a little sister, and a group of friends that he has kept since high school. Two of them were even working in the same hospital that Isak was learning in.

“Eva went into nursing. She’s a great people person and has always been great at being hands on and quick thinking. Sana is a know it all and decided to outdo everyone by working as a surgeon.”

Even startled. “Sana? Bakkoush?”

Even the way Isak’s eyebrows scrunched was adorable. “You know her?”

“Yeah! Her brother is one of my best friends. Her boyfriend is another.”

“Oh my god! I’ve met Yousef! I always thought he was super cute, but I think it was mostly just how Sana talked about him.” Isak looked delighted. “How have I met your friends but not you? Sana has known Yousef since high school. I have been to her house to study only to be caught in the middle of a fight when Elias came to bug her, but I don’t get to meet his hot friend until he walks into my office with a baby on the way?”

Even could feel his cheeks heat up. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you would have liked me in high school.”

Isak studied him, biting down on his lower lip before replying. “I highly doubt that.”

Even felt interest curl in the pit of his stomach at the compliment, there was no way he would have been able to resist a teenage Isak. “Then maybe we just call it bad luck?” He reveled in the upward twitch of Isak’s lips. “But seriously, I wasn’t around for a bit of the last year of high school. I had a pretty rough manic episode before we knew I was bipolar, and I avoided the boys for a while because I was pretty embarrassed. It’s a habit I have. I worry a lot about how others see me, and I get embarrassed by how I have acted after the fact.” He shrugged away Isak’s concerned look before continuing, “I didn’t have anything to be embarrassed for, looking back on it. The boys were worried about me. They didn’t blame me for the things I said or did, but it took a lot of conversations with them and my therapist before I really started feeling comfortable coming around again.”

“That’s fair.” Isak reached forward and took hold of one of Even’s hands. “I had an awkward friends stage too. It was before I came out. I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, but I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself to talk to them. I’m glad they stuck around though because I wouldn’t know what to do without them.”

Even let his palm turn up and feel the softness of Isak’s hand. It was warm and fit nicely within Even’s. “We’re both lucky then. I don’t know what I would do with everything lately if I didn’t have them. The baby was a surprise. Sonja and I aren’t together now, and we weren’t together then. I don’t know what to do or how I will do it, but they’ve all said they are there for me. No one knows what the future holds, but with them, I know I won’t be alone.”

Isak squeezed Even’s hand. Even watched as he let go of it, before trailing a finger from Even’s middle finger down his palm and back again sending electricity down Even’s spine. “I don’t see you being alone.” Isak licked his lips, eyes downcast as they followed the movement of his fingers. “I don’t see anyone leaving you willingly.” Even felt his words in his bones.

+

Even insisted on walking Isak home. Partially because it was getting dark, but mostly because he didn’t want to separate quite yet. They walked the quiet street, and Even appreciated the way the streetlights and shadows danced about Isak’s face. They made him look ethereal, like a fairytale brought to life just for Even’s eyes. He was beautiful.

He noticed Isak sneaking glances of him as they chattered aimlessly about films and music. Every time that Even caught Isak’s eyes they darted to the floor, and Even’s smile widened. He clasped their hands and swayed them gently back and forth as they walked. He enjoyed how warm Isak’s hands were, and how he refused to let go when Even slackened his grip.

They arrived at Isak’s building too soon for Even’s liking.

“Thanks for the coffee… and for the walk home.” Isak did not let go of his hand.

“I had a really good time.” Even stepped into the blond’s space.

“Me too.” Isak looked up through his lashes and caught Even’s eyes. He seemed to sway forward. “We should do this again. Soon.”

Even raised his finger to outline the shape of Isak’s jaw, before gently taking hold of his chin and tipping it up. “I would really like that.”

“Yeah?” Isak asked breathily, craning into the touch as his eyes fell closed.

Even closed the distance. He nuzzled the blond’s nose before letting his lips fall upon that perfect cupid’s bow. It was soft, almost shy in its promise of more. It was lovely. Even put more pressure into the kiss, letting his tongue escape his mouth to trace Isak’s bottom lip before pulling gently away. He did not miss how Isak seemed to follow him. “Yeah… we should definitely do that again.”

Isak’s eyes opened as they pulled apart. He ran his hand through his hair, taking a moment to collect himself before he stepped away completely. He gestured to the door of the building behind him. “I should go…” Even nodded his agreement. “Then I’ll just, yeah…” He turned around and headed to the door, fumbling with the keys he pulled out of his pocket.

“Isak?”

“Yes?” He turned around, giving Even his full attention.

“I think it’s great that I met you, and I really want to do that again.”

The way Isak brightened shamed the moon. “You should call me.”

“I will.” Even promised. He watched as Isak entered the building, before making his own exit.

As he headed home, he took out his phone to text Yousef.

_He’s perfect._

_It was perfect._

He heard his phone chime, but he wasn’t interested in the reply, instead spending his walk home thinking of curls, and cupid’s bows, and soft hands.

It wasn’t until he arrived home that he checked his phone. Yousef had sent a message to the group chat.

Yousef: _He’s a goner._

Mikael: _We salute you, fallen soldier._

Elias: _When is the wedding?_

_I’ll let you know when it’s planned._

+

Despite texting constantly, Isak and Even were not able to find another time to meet before the next appointment. Even was worried that too much time separated might lead to Isak thinking about whether this might not be the best idea. It had certainly led to Even thinking about that. He wanted to give Isak the time and attention he deserved, but he knew that he wouldn’t have much of that to spare in the coming months. When Even dated someone, he liked to be with them fully. He spent time planning excursions, and he often showered them with drawings, notes and ideas that he had been inspired to make by them.

He could feel the desire to do that with Isak, but his attention was equally pulled by the new life that was growing within Sonja each day. He knew the baby would be everything to him. His time would be dedicated to the child, his thoughts circling the baby’s health and wellbeing. Logically, Even knew this made sense, and that no one would blame him for focusing on his child. For whatever reason he couldn’t shake that there was a lot riding on this. This was the beginning of an important relationship. A relationship with Isak. A relationship Even could already tell, might be long and loving, if he just let it be. He just also could not see why Isak would be willing to put up with all of this for a single father with little to offer. For Even.

So, Even tried to take his mind off it. Instead he would try to keep his mind on not reacting to his more basic desires. He arrived at the appointment with no time to spare. He rushed into the room with drinks in hand, hoping he could focus on Sonja, and if that didn’t work, he could focus on his drink. With his hands full, he wouldn’t have the ability to act on his urges to take Isak’s hand. He had gotten the doctor a drink too, knowing his day had to be tiring, and noticed how Isak brightened at his offering. He was right to be worried about his urges, because Even already felt a desire to hug the blond in greeting.

“Are we ready to hear the heartbeat?” Isak smiled, allowing his hand to linger on Even’s arm after accepting the coffee from him.

“I’m ready to fast forward to the end of this.” Sonja said. The changing of her body was definitely something that was causing her discomfort. She was starting to show, and her thin frame was sporting a clear bump.

Isak nodded in understanding, “If it gives you any sense of relief, we are heading into the second trimester now, so the morning sickness should be starting to dissipate and you will see that you feel less tired.”

“God. Let’s hope so.” Sonja sighed. Even rubbed her back in commiseration. There wasn’t much that could be done besides watching what was being eaten and reducing stress. Even felt bad, he couldn’t really provide any form of help, so he just tried to be there for her.

Isak ran the standard tests, made sure everything was looking good, and then asked, “Do we want to hear the heartbeat now?”

Even’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t ready, wasn’t sure he ever would be, but he was very excited. He nodded eagerly. “Please.” He returned the smile Isak gave him. “How do you do it?”

“With a machine.” Isak said simply. He laughed at Even’s unimpressed look. He stood from his chair and pat Even’s shoulder. “I know it sounds complicated, but that’s really all I know about how it works. Let me go get everything set up.” He left the room.

“Well aren’t you two cute.”

Even felt his cheeks flush as he pulled his eyes away from the door where he had watched Isak retreat. “Sorry?”

“Oh please,” Sonja rolled her eyes. “I can see the glances and the touches. It makes me sick.” She looked pale, like she was considering proving her comment correct. “Or it might just be the baby.”

Even laughed, as Isak reentered the room, his head tilted back and arms circling his stomach. He caught the blond’s eye as he quietened down and saw how Isak was watching him confusedly, a questioning look on his face. It was a good look, and Even couldn’t resist winking at the blond to see him blush.

Isak began to set things up, explaining what Even and Sonja could expect to hear, what he was listening for as a doctor, and how they could record the sound if they wanted.

The room went quiet as they listened to the baby’s heartbeat. It was better than any sound Even had heard before. He felt like he could write symphonies about what he was hearing, and they still wouldn’t compare to the quiet thing he was listening to now, fragile yet getting stronger each moment spent growing within Sonja. He felt her squeeze his hand and looked away from the screen to Isak who was looking at him intently before turning his attention to Sonja. She lifted a finger to tap her cheeks, and with her signal Even realized he was crying. Embarrassed, he wiped at his eyes glancing at Isak in hopes he didn’t see Even’s tears. Isak clearly had, but he wasn’t looking at Even like it was shameful. His eyes were wide, and they held a curiosity within them. If Even didn’t know any better, he would think Isak looked intrigued. If he weren’t listening to his baby’s heartbeat, he might even say that they dark look in Isak’s eyes sent something heavy streaming through Even’s veins. He looked away to try to lessen the feeling.

+

When the appointment ended, Even hung back a bit, letting Sonja leave the room in hopes of getting a moment with Isak. The blond fiddled with paperwork and the mouse to his computer, but Even could tell he was equally antsy to have a moment alone together. They wished their goodbyes and when the door fell closed, Even closed the distance between the two of them. He looked at Isak questioningly before glancing down at his lips and back to his eyes, making his intention clear. When Isak nodded, Even kissed him.

“Please tell me you are done work soon?” He said when he pulled back.

“Well, hello to you too. And no, but I am free Friday night if you’d like to meet up?” Isak leaned forward to align his nose with Even’s. “I would really like it if we did.”

Even pulled back, putting on an exaggerated pout before he answered Isak. “Four whole days? How am I supposed to wait four days when you look so nice in your white lab coat?” He let his hands run up and down Isak’s chest, pretending to flatten out the coat while enjoying the warm firmness under his hands.

Even reveled in the way that Isak’s breath hitched. “Maybe you can come by my place? The boys are planning a night out, but as long as I show my face beforehand, they shouldn’t mind if I bail out in the end.”

The idea that Isak was willing to let Even meet his friends, even just by greeting each other in passing, sent a reassurance to Even that settled something in his stomach. “19:30?” Even asked waiting for Isak’s confirmation. “It’s a date.” He leaned forward once more to press a kiss to Isak’s lips before pulling back and stepping away.

Isak let his hand chase Even’s retreating figure until he left his space entirely. “Looking forward to it.” He said it so sincerely, Even’s breath caught. “Now leave before you get me in trouble on the job.”

Smiling, Even made his exit. He would play back that statement the rest of the night, accompanied by the symphony of his baby’s heartbeat. Two things he could feel himself growing to love if he just let himself admit it. Before he was out of the building, he sent a text to Isak.

_Already dreaming about a meeting with a hot doctor._

Isak: _You’re an idiot._

_< 3_

Isak: _:)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are into dating territory!
> 
> Thank you for taking your time to read this little ole fic. Any time taken to let me know what you think is appreciated!  
> I continue to try my best ;)


	5. Date Night

Even was in a hurry to get ready. He had been looking forward to this date since Isak suggested it, and four days had never seemed to pass so slowly.

That of course was why he kept getting interrupted in his preparations by texts from his friends.

_Yousef: So I was talking to Sana, and she told me your dating Isak._

_Yes._

_Yousef: Her Isak?_

_Yes._

_Elias: Am I missing something?_

_Yousef: We’ve met him._

_Elias: Where?_

_Yousef: The grumpy blond Sana was always doing science projects with._

_Elias: What?! Even seriously?_

_Yes._

_Mikael: I don’t remember a blond._

_Elias: I don’t know if you met him before…_

_Mikael: That’s not fair! I want to meet him._

_Yousef: Point is, I’ve met your boyfriend before you._

_Elias: Oh my god, so have I!_

_Yes…_

_Yousef: Are you only going to answer with yeses?_

_I have a date with the grumpy blond, and you are distracting me._

_Elias: He is kind of cute. I thought for a minute Sana had a crush on him. I think it was just that she was nicer to him than anyone else._

_Yousef: She was nice to me!_

_Elias: Ew. Anyways, well done to you Even!_

_Mikael: You better let me meet him soon! I hate this._

_I am going to ignore you all now. I don’t want to be late._

_Elias: Have fun! Say hi for me!_

_No._

_+_

Even found himself outside Isak’s building at 19:15 pm. He was early, it was raining and Isak was not answering his texts or his phone calls. His sunny disposition was losing its shine, and Even could feel that he was getting frustrated.

He had no one to blame but himself though, it was his own fault.

He was early. He had made the decision to leave the house with time to spare, preferring to wait than to be late, he couldn’t expect that others shared that same preference. It was raining. Even had the ability to check the weather, but he had left his house without a jacket or umbrella, and when he had noticed it had started to spit he was both too excited to return to his house and risk being late, and naïve enough to believe that it wouldn’t get any heavier despite the cool fall temperature. Isak wasn’t answering his texts or calls. Isak wasn’t expecting him yet, and he might be in the shower or otherwise occupied not expecting a call yet. All of these things could explain Even’s situation away, he tried to focus on that instead of his deteriorating mood. Even decided to wait until their determined meeting time before trying to call Isak again.

When 19:30 passed and Even was no closer to entering the building, he tried to think about how much he’d be able to tease Isak for making him wait. But as Even felt his shirt begin to cling to his skin uncomfortably, he was forced to accept that he was getting upset. As the time ticked by, getting closer to 20:00, Even allowed himself to call one last time before giving up. He could hear the dial tone ring out as he waited for it to connect. He could feel himself about to cry out in joy when the line finally connected.

“Hello?” A voice that certainly wasn’t Isak answered.

“Is this Isak’s phone?” Even asked, confused.

He heard the huff of laughter on the other end. “Is this Even? You have the right number. Did Isak not send you the code to get in?”

“I don’t think I would have called him so many times if that were the case.” Even snarked, then feeling bad said, “Sorry. Not your fault.”

The voice sighed. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’ll buzz you in, just head up to our door.”

Even thanked the voice, made his way up to the apartment as directed, and knocked to signal his arrival.

“Aw man, you look rough.” A curly haired brunet said from the apartment as the door eased open. His substantial eyebrows were raised. “You must like him a lot if you’re willing to wait in the rain.”

Even shivered at the reminder of his state. “It remains to be seen whether I continue to like him.” He entered the apartment at the invitation of the brunet, who shrugged in agreement. “Where is he anyways?”

The brunet smirked. “Would you believe he had a nap because he didn’t want to fall asleep on you?”

“That is ridiculous.” If Even found it a bit sweet, he wasn’t going to say so out loud. Who was he kidding? Yes, he would. “And adorable.”

The brunet gestured to one of the doors on the left of the hallway. “Sleeping beauty is in there, but I wouldn’t wake him. He can be a bit of a monster when he wants to be. We can grab you something to change into and then you’re welcome to wait with me in the living room.” Even agreed easily. “I’m Jonas by the way.”

Even connected the man in front of him to Isak’s best friend. It made sense, he was clearly comfortable with Isak, opening the blond’s room and gesturing for Even to follow him into it, before searching Isak’s drawer to find a suitable change of clothes for a very drenched Even. Even took in the space as he waited, the blank space on the walls, the blue of the bed sheets, the paleness of Isak’s cheeks as he slept peacefully. Even committed that to memory, watching his mouth fall open and sharp breaths escape him as he rustled about in his sheets. Even could almost forgive him for leaving him out in the rain.

Jonas interrupted his gazing by shoving a pair of trackpants and a hoodie into his hands. He showed Even the washroom and let him know that he’d be on the couch when he changed. Even was encouraged to take his time, a shower if he’d like to warm up, and grab a beer on his way past the kitchen. Their other friends, Mahdi and Magnus were on their way as well so Jonas warned him that they could be a lot.

Overwhelmed, Even took all of that information and did very little with it. He opted to change quickly and grabbed a cup of water before he sat with Jonas on the couch. He watched the brunet flick channels before settling on news for the background and turning to Even.

“So,” Jonas began. “Obviously, I have heard about you from Isak.” Even nodded. He was actually quite pleased to hear that Isak had mentioned him. “He doesn’t really talk to me about the people he is seeing, so when he mentioned you were coming it kind of raised some flags.”

Even was surprised to hear that. “Is this one of those warning talks?” He joked.

“Yes.” It was unnerving how calm Jonas was. “Don’t get me wrong. You treat him well and its fine. Isak can hold his own. But he doesn’t talk to me, not willingly, at least not at first, and he told me about you weeks ago. Before your coffee date. The flags aren’t from you. I’m watching out for him. Isak likes you, like a lot. I want you to understand that.”

Even couldn’t see how Isak would struggle with having anyone feeling anything but awe around him. Even knew that he was lucky to be getting Isak’s attention at all given his situation. But when Even considered Jonas, he seemed sincere. If anything, his worry was actually making Even like him more. Isak deserved a friend who would defend his honor. “I really like him. A lot.” Even admitted.

Jonas accepted that for the truth it was. “Good.”

Any other conversation was interrupted by the door opening to the loudest conversation about cats that Even had ever heard.

“I am just saying, the roughness of a cat’s tongue feels so nice. Why won’t you admit I’m right?” A blond was saying, completely oblivious to the people in the room he was entering.

“I won’t lie to your face. You need to know you scare people when you talk so openly about your kinks.” His friend replied.

Jonas nudged Even’s side and pointed to the new occupants. “Magnus and Mahdi.” He indicated in turn.

Magnus looked towards them at the mention of his name. “Who is that?” He asked bluntly.

Mahdi pushed his friend, before reaching out a hand in greeting to Even. “Hi. I have some semblance of manners. It’s nice to meet you.”

Even shook his hand, and Magnus’ once he recovered. “I’m Even. I’m actually here for Isak, but it seems he’d rather sleep than hang out with me.”

“Even?” Magnus asked, confused. “We know an Even? Has Isak mentioned you to us?”

“Why would I know the answer to that?”

Mahdi pat Even’s shoulder. “It’s best to ignore him.” To Magnus he said, “He’s the one Isak is ditching us for tonight.” He headed out of the room and soon returned with four beers for each person present. “Did he really think it was a good idea to go to sleep?” He asked Jonas before informing Even, “He doesn’t sleep well very often, he’s tends to just run on empty, so when he gets into a real sleep it’s pretty much impossible to wake him up.”

Even felt bad for being annoyed with him, the more he learned. It was endearing to hear that Isak seemed so worried about letting Even down that he tried to get more sleep so that he would have the energy to see Even. It made Even curious to what Isak had planned. He felt no rush in waking Isak up after so many warnings, so instead he happily listened to Isak’s friends share stories from high school and exchange jabs at each other. They made Even laugh so often his sides were starting to hurt, and Even found he was just as comfortable and entertained sitting with the three friends as he felt sitting with his own.

Even was enjoying an in depth conversation about whether university students actually cared about ‘important’ topics like they claimed to, or if they still enjoyed talking about kid stuff and just pretended to like adult conversations so they could get laid. Even and Jonas agreed that people liked talking about what they were interested in no matter what age they were. Apparently, Jonas had always been a bit of a social warrior, and Even had always enjoyed talking about art, film, and literature past the basics of ‘it looked nice’. Mahdi was adamant that people changed their interests to suit who they were speaking to. Magnus was certain that it didn’t really matter what you talked about because people were always going to make fun of you for it anyways. He was proven right almost immediately when Jonas and Mahdi began to recount the conversations Magnus had in high school about his girlfriend. Even was in the midst of trying to defend Magnus’ desperate actions, when a shout from the other room cut them off.

“Jonas!” Isak’s angry voice cut through the happy atmosphere of the room. “Why the fuck didn’t you wake me up?!” There was a flurry of banging as he moved about in the other room. “I missed 5 calls! 10 texts! He’s never going to talk to me again!” They heard a loud bang and a muffled yell. “Fuck! What am I even supposed to tell him? ‘Sorry I slept through our date, but you should totally give me another chance because I was having a dream about you that was so good. But when I woke up and remembered where I was supposed to be, it paled to the fact that I was going to see the real you?’ He’s going to run for the hills!” Even could feel his cheeks flame as the boys began to giggle around him.

“Isak-” Jonas tried to intercept the rant.

“No Jonas!” The door slammed open and closed in quick succession. “It’s 20:45! I’m over an hour late! I hate me, how can I expect him not to?” Isak’s footsteps were echoing in the hallway as he made his way to the living room. He didn’t even look in their direction as he began searching the table in front of him. “If you just ruined my chance with Even because you were to chicken shit to wake me up, then I promise I’ll make sure you don’t wake up tomorrow!” He finally looked up at his roommate. He fell still as he noticed Even and his cheeks reddened to a hue Even found extremely adorable.

“Hi Isak.” He smiled as Isak’s friends’ giggles turned into full out laughter.

Isak reddened further. “Well on that note,” He stuttered, “I am just going to go in my room to die.” He turned around and bolted for the hallway.

Even was slow to get up, but he caught a hold of Isak’s arm before he could do exactly as he said. Isak tried to pull away, but Even enfolded the blond into a hug. He held on through Isak’s protestations until he felt the blond melt into his arms. “You are so cute, Isak.” He teased as he carded one hand through the sleep messed curls on his shoulder.

Isak whined. “That was embarrassing.” He dug his face into Even’s shoulder.

“It was cute.” Even reaffirmed. “If you sleeping wasn’t adorable enough to let you off the hook, this little scene did it.” He traced from the back of Isak’s head, across his jaw, and to his cheek, encouraging Isak to look up before placing a kiss on the top of his head when he refused to move. Isak did make a noise of protest when Even tried to pull away though, and Even could feel his hands grip onto the hoodie he was wearing.

So they just stood there, in the hallway, holding each other until Isak calmed enough to step back and look at Even fully. He continued to flex his fingers in Even’s top. “Are you wearing my clothes?” He asked, eyes wide.

Even smirked, “You left me out in the rain, Isak!” He pouted exaggeratedly, hoping to produce a smile from the man in front of him. “You owe me. These are my clothes now. It’s only fair.”

Isak began stroking down his chest before he muttered, “Whatever.” He seemed really focused on Even’s chest.

“Wait… do you like this?” Even asked, delighted at the way Isak’s eyes were roaming his chest.

“Shut up.” The blond whispered, but he tilted his head back in clear invitation. Who was Even to reject such a lovely offering? He leaned forward to kiss the pouting cupid’s brow before him.

When they pulled apart again, Even disentangled Isak’s hand from his sweater and laced their fingers, pulling Isak back towards the living room and his friends. He couldn’t hold back the laugh when he realized the three men were clapping at their reappearance. Isak was looking at the ground, but he let Even lead him to the couch and pull him down next to him.

Jonas offered Isak a swig from his half-finished beer, which Isak rejected. “This is your fault. Get me a full one.”

Jonas rolled his eyes but stood up from his spot and headed to the kitchen, calling out as he went, “No one is judging you Isak, he’s cute. Get it.”

Isak scowled at the comment and kicked out at Mahdi who was laughing at him. “Don’t be shy Isak, he can tell you like him already.”

Even beamed from where he sat with his arms around Isak’s middle. “I like shy Isak. Don’t make him leave.” He didn’t mind how Isak pushed him away, not when he quickly rearranged himself so that he was leaning back against Even. Not when he replaced Even’s arms, so they were back around Isak’s middle.

“You’re Even!” Magnus shouted, nearly scaring Jonas into dropping the beers he had returned with. He looked as if he had just stumbled into a gold mine.

“I did introduce myself earlier.” Even answered uncertain. The rest of the group were staring at Magnus unimpressed, but they had all turned in his direction waiting patiently for his next words as if this were a common occurrence.

“You’re Isak’s Even! The one having the baby!”

Even felt Isak shift against him, just catching the warning glance he shot at Magnus. “Watch it…” He warned his friend.

“Are you ready?” Magnus asked, unaware of the shifting mood. “It must be weird having a kid. You can’t do things just for yourself anymore.” He looked at Isak considering, “Are you ready for that Isak? Family isn’t really your thing.”

Even let his arms fall from Isak and scratched at his head for something to do with them. He didn’t look at the blond for fear of what he might see. This was something Even was worried about, because honestly, he did not know the answer to that question. For either Isak or himself. He laughed nervously, he didn’t want anyone to think he was offended, before answering, “Well, I guess I’m not. I have no idea what to expect, but I’m still really excited. I can’t speak for Isak,” He glanced toward the blond but did not reach for him. “But I really like him. So, it’s really his choice at this point.”

Isak reached for his hand and when he answered Magnus, his eyes stayed firmly on Even’s. “I like you too. My family situation was weird. Things weren’t great in high school, but they are better now. I don’t think it’s weird a dad wants to be in his kid’s life. I think that’s how it should be.” He squeezed Even’s hand. “I don’t know about tomorrow, but today I feel ready to face the unknown.”

Even returned the pressure and leaned forward to slide his nose against Isak’s. “That’s cool.” He whispered.

“That’s cool.” Isak responded.

The moment was broken when Magnus reminded them of his presence. “Was I not supposed to ask?”

+

Even had wished a good night to the group of friends before they left him alone with Isak, promising that next time they were meeting up, Even would bring his own friends.

When they were alone, Even spent his time teasing the blond, and memorizing the look of shy embarrassment on his face. He wanted to remember it exactly, so he could recreate it when the urge to draw next hit.

Even went home that night feeling better than he had thought he would after it’s bad start. He went despite Isak’s protestations that they had hardly even seen each other, teasing him that it was his fault for sleeping. He had made a note of the apartment’s code and was encouraged to stop by more often. He spent more time at the door kissing Isak than he had waiting for the blond to answer his phone. And now, he made his way home texting Isak ridiculous gifs and laughing at his responses.

It had been a successful night.

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!
> 
> I sort of added a mini chapter because I couldn't get over how Even's friends would react to Isak, and then how Isak's friends would react to Even. And then bam, an extra chapter now exists.
> 
> Let me know what you think. But like, only if you want to.


	6. Boys and Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the mature content warning.

Things were right on track. They were present at their second appointment of the second trimester and Sonja was feeling better than ever. Everyone and everything was looking healthy, and nothing was presenting as a cause for concern. Isak was just finishing up the newest batch of notes from Sonja’s bloodwork when he mentioned casually, “You know we have some time left this appointment, we should be able to find out the baby’s gender.”

“Uh…” It hadn’t occurred to Even that they were that far along already.

“Exciting isn’t it?” Isak teased him.

He began to set everything up, settling Sonja comfortably next to the ultrasound, and arranging the tools they would need in a line. They discussed what the steps were and what Isak would look for during the procedure. They were nearly ready, turning on the machine and checking it was running properly, when they realized that Even had not moved from his seat to join them.

“Even?” Isak asked. “Are you feeling okay?”

Sonja took one look at him and laughed, waving away the look of concern that was growing on Isak’s face as Even continued to take his time comprehending the information that had just been so simply given to him. “Don’t worry about him.” She said to Isak as she ushered Even forward and rubbed his back. “He doesn’t think beyond the next hour sometimes. He probably has so many ideas in his head about baby boys and baby girls that it hadn’t even occurred to him to think about the reality that he would be having one or the other.”

Isak nodded in understanding, but he still looked a bit worried. “Do you need a minute Even? You’re pretty pale.”

Even’s head felt foggy, he was having a baby girl or a baby boy. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the fog, but he didn’t respond to Isak’s question. Was he actually prepared to take care of a little boy? Teach him about sports and dinosaurs? Make sure he knew that he could love music and ballet just as much if he chose to? Or a little girl? Even knew nothing of what girls went through biologically. Would he teach his child properly? Did he have a preference? Was he hoping for one over the other? Did it even matter?

Sonja stopped rubbing his back, pushing him forward. “Okay those wheels need to stop turning. Isak let’s find out.” At Isak’s concerned look she said, “Now please. My stomach is cold.”

That got Isak in motion. He smiled encouragingly at Even and began the work of finding the baby on the machine. The longer it took, the more stressed Even felt. Finally, the blond let out a sigh. “So…” Isak began. “Your baby is here.” He gestured to a rounded shape on the screen. “But it seems that baby would rather dance about than make it at all easy for me to see things fully. As a result, I don’t think I’ll be able to tell you the gender today.”

Even was surprised by the wave of relief that washed over him. “That’s okay. Perfectly fine. Isn’t it Sonja?” He said quickly. He looked to the woman beside him and took in her wide eyes. Perhaps he was speaking to quickly. “Sorry is this odd? Am I being odd? Maybe I should go for a minute.” He stood up, beelining for the door. He could tell he was panicking, but he didn’t know why.

“Even?” Isak called out after him, following him out of the room.

“I just need a minute Isak.” Even was quick to assure.

“That’s fine.” Isak reassured him in return. “You’re not the first person to freak out a little at the prospect of having a baby. I just wanted to suggest maybe you should get some water for both yourself and Sonja?”

Even could tell Isak was trying to take his mind off his moment of panic in the room. He nodded, grateful that Isak wasn’t pressuring him. “Okay. I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Take your time.” Isak returned to the examination room.

Even took his advice, navigating the hallways to the closest vending machine and paying for two water bottles. He opened and drank half of his bottle before he felt comfortable enough to make his way back to the room, to Sonja and Isak.

He entered the examination room, eyes lowered and refusing to look at either occupant in the eye. He handed Sonja the water bottle, waving away her thanks, before taking a seat.

He felt a hand fall on his shoulder, looking up into Isak’s green eyes. “So...” the doctor said, “We talked while you were gone, and we decided to postpone any news of the baby’s gender.” Even let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Isak squeezed his shoulder. “I will have to know the baby’s gender. But I want to make sure you know that you don’t need to.”

“Even, let’s just go home.” Sonja suggested. “We can discuss your plans for the baby later.”

Even was not going to take a chance like this for granted. He looked to Isak, who seemed a bit confused at the turn of events but determined to make sure Even was comfortable. “Okay. Thank you.” Even stood from his seat, and Isak let his hand fall as he did. “I’ll talk to you later?”

Isak smiled. “Yeah.”

+

Later, turned out to be a night out at the local pub.

Even had agreed to go at Magnus’ request for a large group get together, ignoring Isak rolling his eyes and calling him a people pleaser. He contacted his friends and invited them along too. Apparently, both Jonas and Magnus were dating friends of Sana, and both of them wanted to meet her brother. Magnus had said it was because they wanted to know if Elias was as intense as Sana. Even couldn’t resist the idea after that elicited quite the belly laugh out of him.

Now he sat in a pub, cuddled into Isak as he listened to Magnus and Elias discuss the importance of strong and powerful women. Well, more accurately they were each fawning over the strong women in their lives. Vilde preened as her boyfriend complimented her to Even’s friends. Sana kept rolling her eyes as Elias spoke so highly of her medical career and aspirations, but she didn’t stop him from talking, and she kept smiling as Yousef chimed in to agree.

“She will be the bread winner in her family!” Elias exclaimed, proud of his sister.

“She’ll be doing what she loves. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Yousef smiled at Sana.

“You both are idiots.” Sana leaned into Yousef’s arms, and stuck her tongue out at her brother, but Even could tell she was pleased.

“Why don’t you want me to be the breadwinner?” Eva huffed from next to Jonas, pushing at his arms.

“The idea of a breadwinner is outdated and patriarchal in nature. You can make as much or as little money as you want, and I will support you. As long as you remember that working for a capitalist dream does nothing but rid you of agency and the ability to discern the true merits of life. Make money to live, do not live to make money.” Jonas responded, taking a swig of his beer and ignoring the groans around him.

“Don’t boo him, he’s right!” Mikael complained. “We must stand up against the injustices of the world, so that it is a better place for those who inherit it.” He sent a cheers to Even from the other side of the table. “Some of us just had to go and start having kids. Now I need to be conscientious.”

Even laughed, taken in as usual by his best friend’s charm. “Thanks ever so much Mikael.” He said sarcastically. “Cheers to accidentally having a baby.” He smiled at the loud hoots and hollers from the table.

“Speaking of kids. How is work, Isak?” Sana asked. She was herself training to be a surgeon in the same hospital Isak was associated with.

The blond had been quiet for most of the night, but he acknowledged the question after a sip of beer. “I’m not exactly sure if you are implying I am a kid or not.” He smiled at the smirk Sana sent his way. “But it was good. There was one dad the other day, who was a bit nervous over the baby’s gender, but it was pretty cute, so I let it slide.” Isak poked at Even’s cheek when he looked down flushing. He did not mind being called out, had been looking for a time to bring up the appointment to the blond, and was happy they now had a tension free way to discuss the event.

He smiled at the way the table quietened with a spattering of ‘aww’. Some were sincere, but by the puking action Mikael made following his loud exclamation, Even was able to deduce that he at least was being sarcastic. The more the group played up the silliness of the situation, the less serious it felt. The less serious it felt, the more Even felt like he could actually address his concerns.

“It was just so surprising, you know?” He tried to explain what had him feeling so off. “I didn’t realize the baby was that big yet.”

“Do you know what you’re having?” Mahdi asked. Magnus was nodding excitedly beside him, so much so he seemed to be shaking the table.

“Not yet.” Even began to laugh. “The doctor didn’t seem to know what he was doing. No matter how hard he looked at the ultrasound, he couldn’t find out.” He continued to laugh through Isak elbowing his side. To make up for it, he planted a kiss on the blond’s cheek. Isak continued to pout, but he settled back into Even’s arm.

With the prospect of finding out the baby’s gender off the table for the night, the table settled into small groups, chatting about different interests and events, how everyone knew each other or how they didn’t. It amazed Even how the group already had so much in common and how well they got along. It felt as if they could have met earlier, it was almost surprising they didn’t.

Despite the conversations taking place around them, Isak seemed focused on their little bubble. “Did you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly.

Even wasn’t sure. Part of him really wanted to discuss this with Isak, but he didn’t know where to start or what his problem really was. He started to suggest they talk about something else but was interrupted when Mikael leaned forward to tap his beer against Even’s. “Tell us the problem. I know you love to hear your own voice, and you know I love to give advice.”

Even smiled at his friend and getting a nod of encouragement from Isak, he tried to articulate his thoughts to the two most important people in the room to him. It wasn’t that Even didn’t want to know his child’s gender. It’s just that knowing made the realities of taking care of a child a much bigger deal to him. There was so much that came with having a little girl or a little boy that Even would need to prepare for. Was he ready to fight stereotypes or was he going to stand by them? He didn’t want a little girl to feel like she had to bake or like dolls, but he also didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t or was less if she did. A baby boy shouldn’t be made to feel like he couldn’t cry or like art or other things that might be seen as stereotypically feminine. Even didn’t want him to feel like he had to either though, not just because his dad liked them. Even didn’t want to fail his child by getting things wrong, falling into idealized ideas of what a little boy or a little girl should be. But would it be bad if he wanted to dress up a little boy like a dinosaur, or put a floral dress on a little girl?

“You realize he is like this with everything right? An overthinker. Dives headfirst into everything then drowns in the emotions around him.” Mikael said when Even had ended his train of thought.

“I’m getting that impression, yes.” Isak confirmed, rubbing up and down Even’s arm as he gathered his breath. “But its ok to be worried, baby.” He poked at Even’s cheek. “You don’t need to know the baby’s gender if you don’t want to, but you will have to face these worries at some point.”

Isak happily accepted the kiss Even leaned forward to give him. 

“Does it really matter though?” Jonas asked. Even realized he had caught his attention somewhere in the middle of his rant. “I just mean, it’s not up to you to topple unjust childrearing practices. The fact you don’t want to stifle your kid’s choices is already a good start.” He smiled at Even, and Even returned the gesture for what it was: encouragement.

“So, what your saying is, ‘do what you want and let the kid do what they want in return.’ Did I get that right?” Even asked.

“Here! Here!” Mikael answered. “Let the baby wear a dinosaur dress! Put them in pink mechanic gear!” He laughed loudly, gathering the attention of their friends. Unsure of what was happening, but ever encouraging, the group started chanting with Mikael.

“Okay! Okay!” Even felt better already. This wasn’t as big of an issue as he thought it would be. “The baby can wear or be whoever it wants to be, girl or boy. Or anything in between.”

“Or neither at all.” Elias added, tipping his glass in a silent cheers.

From the other end of the table Magnus said, “It’s not like any of us are going to be able to tell in the first year or two anyways.”

It startled another laugh out of Even with its earnest sincerity. “True enough.” He looked to Isak and took in how he smiled with his eyes, bright and happy. “So, it’s okay if I don’t want to know?”

“Perfectly.” The blond sighed, leaning up to place a kiss on Even’s lips. “We will make sure the baby’s gender is a surprise.” He peppered more kisses on Even.

Even leaned back from Isak, determined. “Do you have to know?”

Isak eyebrow’s scrunched in consideration. Even enjoyed the look. “I mean, the doctor has to know the baby’s gender. We need to make sure things are healthy and coming along at a good rate.”

Even didn’t want Isak holding information from him just because he felt too worried to know. It seemed like it would be a strain that the already interesting circumstances of their relationship didn’t need. Even he could hear the whine in his voice when he asked, “There’s really no other option?”

“What about the odd doctor?” Jonas suggested.

Isak’s eyes lit up, and Even felt his mood brighten with Isak’s. “Dr Skrulle?” The blond was practically vibrating in excitement. “That could work! She can confirm the baby is growing well, and I don’t need to know what the baby is. Just like you.”

Even could kiss that smile right off the blond’s face. “Thank you.”

As topics moved on, and the evening evolved into a much more chilled out environment, Even found himself leaning into Isak, cuddling the blond, and skirting his fingers through the curly ringlets that fell into his face. He enjoyed the quiet noises Isak made, how he pulled Even’s arm tighter around him, and how he leaned up for kisses when he finished a sentence.

Eventually, Even was so focused on the man in his arms, on the smell of his shampoo and the feel of his supple skin where it rubbed against his, that he forgot there were others present. He leaned forward and blew onto the blond’s neck, enjoying the goosebumps that formed there. He allowed his hands to circle Isak’s wrists and hold them in front of him with a gentle pressure, rubbing. He let his head fall to Isak’s to smell at the blond’s hair, to place a soft kiss at the nape of his neck, and to nose down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He was so focused on the reactions from the blond that at first, he didn’t notice the looks Mikael was sending his way.

“Alright, it’s time for you to get a room, lovebirds.” His best friend said, pointing at the two of them in disgust. “No one wants to be subjected to this any further.”

“Get your boyfriend home!” Elias yelled, teasing.

Even laughed at the chorus of nods and agreements that met that statement. But he would be lying if he said that he didn’t appreciate how it made Isak burrow further into his arms in embarrassment. Purposely avoiding the mention of relationship status, he hoped to lessen Isak’s shyness. “Should I walk you home baby?” He whispered into the blond’s ear.

Isak looked up at Even, pupils dilated so thoroughly he could hardly see the green in them. He had no qualms about staking his claim. “Please. Bring your boyfriend home.” And if Even claimed that didn’t spur him into action, he would be lying.

Even took hold of Isak’s hand, and waving goodbye, the two made a swift exit.

They walked generally toward the direction of their houses but kept stopping so that they could pull each other into kisses. Even loved the soft sounds Isak made when Even pushed him against a wall and kissed at his neck. He was collecting each sound for his memory, and painting Isak’s skin with his tongue. In turn, Isak would scratch softly at his skin and pull at his hair. Soft touches were becoming frantic and Even quickly decided it was time to get Isak home for the night.

He struggled to pull away, however. “Baby please. I need to get you home.”

Isak keened, pushing into Even and placing his hands on either side of the taller man’s face. “Even.” Isak panted. “I don’t want to spend the night alone.” Even felt his mouth fall open at the way the blond bit his lip.

He struggled to get the image of Isak in bed with him out of his head. It was a long time before he was able to respond, looking deep into green eyes. “Isak. Do you want to come home with me?’ He asked breathlessly.

Isak smiled, dragging one hand from Even’s face, down his chest and tangling their fingers together before pulling him forward. “Only if I get to stay the night.”

There was no way Even was saying no to that.

+

Isak looked beautiful in the soft light of the moon. His pale skin glowed, and his eyes were shining.

Even couldn’t look away as the blond moved above him, head falling forward with every undulation. If Even moved just right, Isak would toss his head back shouting out loud, and his curls would catch the light from the streetlamp for just a moment. Even longed to run his hand through them, but his hands were currently occupied, holding Isak’s hips tightly, pulling him down to meet his own.

He would raise his hands slowly, as Isak took his time pleasuring himself, feeling at the skin of Isak’s stomach and thighs, before returning to his hips when Isak had teased him just enough. The connection was amazing, and it was only when Isak made a delectably sinful noise, twisting his hips just so, that Even reached for those blond ringlets and pulled the blond down to meet his mouth halfway.

+

Later, when both were clean and sated, Even breathed in Isak’s sweet scent and let his hands run through the soft ringlets resting on the pillow.

“Isak?” He whispered to the closed eyes in front of him. He placed a soft kiss on Isak’s parted lips when he made a hum of acknowledgement. “Do you think anyone else has been this happy before?”

Isak didn’t answer for a long moment, and Even thought he may have fallen asleep. His eyes opened slowly however, and he whispered. “Us.”

Even was confused. “Yes us, but anyone else?”

Isak breathed out a soft sigh, and with it the first dregs of sleep left his shoulders. “We have been happy here, and we have been happy in every other universe too.” He leaned forward nuzzle at Even’s nose.

Even pressed their foreheads together when Isak pulled away. “We are together in more than one universe?”

Isak smiled sweetly, closing his eyes once more. “Even, we’re together in every universe.” He fell asleep shortly after.

Even continued to watch Isak, unable to find his own rest so easily. The blond’s words were beautiful. Even knew that every part of him, every fiber of his being, every atom within him longed for Isak. He knew that any version of him that existed would search out for every version of Isak. But as he looked at the man next to him, soft and vulnerable before him, Even knew that no Even was deserving of Isak.

So, he would take what he could get, so long as Isak was willing to give it. Because even a small amount of him would be better than nothing.

Even pulled the blond close, breathed him in, and got what little sleep he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I say thank you for reading and taking the time to comment if you would like. 
> 
> We are half way (but actually more than halfway) there!


	7. Sleepless

Even woke to the soft snores beside him. His arm was sore where Isak slept on it. Despite it being short, it was the most restful sleep he had had in the last few days. He listened to the blond’s intake of breath and let the rhythm lull him back, not quite to sleep, but to the state of relaxation that came with almost succumbing. He traced the contours of Isak’s back, taking in dips and freckles, committing the sight to memory. This was the time to cherish quiet mornings, he wouldn’t have them for long.

Even slowly disentangled himself from the Isak who began chasing his warmth as he left the bed, placed a kiss upon the blond’s furrowed brow, slipped on a pair of shorts, and made his way out of the room to get to the kitchen. He was halfway through making breakfast when he heard the bedroom door open and heard Isak’s steps as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Baby.” Isak’s voice was soft from sleep. “I don’t like waking up to an empty bed like that.”

Even smiled at his boyfriend, leaning forward to place a kiss on Isak’s pouting lips which the blond accepted. “Sorry baby, I just thought I’d make us some food, but I don’t have any coffee for you.”

Isak took in the meal being made then leaned forward for another kiss. “I guess I could forgive you, but you will have to owe me.”

Even wrapped his arms around the blond, intrigued by how Isak’s hands fell easily to his waist playing with the skin there. “What are you thinking?” He asked quietly. Letting his breath puff against Isak’s neck as he placed his lips there.

“I was thinking.” Isak began, giving Even more space on his neck to work with. “We eat this and then we have an early dessert. In the next room.”

Even let his teeth press against the blond’s neck in a smile, but it became a smirk quickly upon hearing Isak’s breath hitch. He applied the smallest pressure, hoping to elicit the sound again. “I won’t say no to that.” Even agreed before stepping back to focus on breakfast.

They sat to eat when the meal was ready, and Isak spent the time looking around the living room. “You know, I wasn’t able to see much of the house yesterday, you’ll have to show me around.”

Even obliged, taking their plates and showing him the kitchen, the bathroom, and the second room that Isak had not yet seen.

“Do you rent this? By yourself?” Isak asked incredulous.

Even laughed but nodded along in understanding. “I’m one of those lucky people. My parents helped me get this place. They said they were giving me a two bedroom to be kind to me, little did they know that it would be needed for more than just me.”

Isak nodded looking around the apartment impressed. “So, you own it? Like a real grown up?”

“A real grown up that got help from Mom and Dad. Then became one himself.”

Isak pressed Even into the doorframe, requesting a kiss and then a hug. “Is this room the baby’s then?”

Even looked around the extra room. It was doubling as part art room part storage room at the moment, but there was no other space for the baby, so the room would become his or hers. It was a mess and not at all ready for a child, but Even figured it could be the next big project. He gleefully thought of all the things he could get for the room to prepare. “It might need a little TLC. Would you be interested in helping out with that sometime?”

Isak worried his brows, suspiciously he asked. “Are you just trying to con me into helping you?”

Even let his hand’s roam the blond’s muscled back. He settled his fingers at Isak’s hips, letting them dip below the elastic bad of his boxers. “I promise a reward.”

Isak smiled brightly, and Even felt his breath leave him. “Well in that case, yes.”

+

Even knew when he woke up, he could feel it settling onto his skin, could feel the change in his emotions. If he looked back on the last few days, he could see the warning signs, he knew that he was going to be hitting a peak. His energy was heightened, his excitement doubled, and he knew that it would get worse before it got better. Even gathered his things, prepared for the day ahead of him, and made the mental note to bring it up at his appointment this week for the baby.

His mental health had always been a touchy subject for him, but this could be his way to figure out what he was expecting when he went through his highs and lows as a father, and Even could ask for advice on how to deal with it. He would need to speak with his therapist, look at how to deal with his medication around a child, and how to cope with his episodes when he had a child present, if there were any things available to help single dads in a situation like this.

Later that week, when he arrived at the hospital for his appointment, after greeting both Sonja with a hug and Isak with a kiss, Even said, “Not to worry anyone, but I can feel I have a manic episode coming on.”

Isak and Sonja paused, seeming to wait out if Even had anything more to add, and when he didn’t Sonja said, “Does it feel like a big one?”

Even thought it out. “No, medium maybe? But I wanted to make sure you were both aware because I don’t actually know what it will be like for me with the baby.”

Sonja nodded. “Well, just keep me updated when you can, and we will figure it out as we go.”

“What do your episodes look like?” Isak asked, eyes searching as he sat next to Even.

“My manic episodes are often bigger than my depressive episodes. They last longer and have had a history of me getting into some odd behaviours. I have found a good medication, and it has helped me curb some serious behaviour, but I still become really focused on specific things, I get very energetic and struggle sleeping, and sometimes I say and act in ways I don’t mean to.” Even couldn’t look into Isak’s eyes. He had come to terms with his disorder in the years since he was diagnosed in high school, but it still felt like a confession when he had to describe it, like a black mark he would wear for all the days to come, something for him to be judged unfairly by. He hated that he felt that way and knew he shouldn’t, but he grew up thinking of it that way and now it was hard to curb that habit. He focused on Isak’s hands and sometimes turned to Sonja for support and confirmation as he explained what his experiences with bipolar disorder looked like. She had been through it with him in his worst days, before they had known why Even was acting as he did. “My depressive episode will come after. They last anywhere from a week to two and usually the first couple days are the worst. Usually I just stay at home and sleep.”

Isak was listening intently. “Okay. We will have to deal with each day as it comes, but the best thing we can do to prepare is work with your therapist and find some support groups present for parents with bipolar disorder.” He squeezed Even’s knee and turned to Sonja. “Shall we look into our options for further checking the baby’s health?”

“Let me know what we can do, and what you think we should do, and let’s do it.” Sonja said.

“Well that makes things easier.” Isak agreed.

The remainder of the appointment went well. Things were looking good, they were testing for any issues that may come up in the future, but otherwise things were going well.

As they were leaving, Isak pulled Even to the side. “Can I come over tomorrow?”

Even smiled. “You know I would love that, but Mikael will be coming by to help clean out the extra room. Are you okay with that?”

Isak licked his lips, considering, before nodding. “As long as I get to stay longer.” He joked.

Even let out a laugh. “I can let that happen.”

+

“I hate your hoarding habit.” Mikael took in the scene of the extra room around him. To be fair, the room had been used as an office for Even and his creative ways. To be realistic, it was a mess.

“You promised you would help, if I chose you as favourite uncle.” Even handed the brunet a bag to begin cleaning the room.

Mikael took it, but he was sure to stick his tongue out at Even before getting to work. “I regret that statement, especially after I realized it is up to the baby to make that choice.” That knocked a laugh out of Even, and Mikael smirked in pride. “Anyways, I’m gonna smoke Elias any time, and as long as I keep Yousef away from the kid, I have a fighting chance, so we are good.”

“Sure buddy.” Even agreed easily enough.

Then the two got to work. Garbage and clutter were thrown out. Personal art, commissions and requests were separated and dealt with. The room was soon emptied with varying quantities of things that would have to be thrown out, relocated, and sent off on orders. The room was just starting to look like it was ready to transition into something else, a child’s room. Even was starting to get excited at the prospect of what the room could look like and what things he would need in order to fully transform the room.

Even and Mikael sat down in the living room when they had finished their tasks, waiting for pizza and perusing websites so that he could start to order the needed materials for a child’s room. Even was so excited he couldn’t help but think aloud at what the room could become. “Of course, we will have to wait for Isak to arrive to see if he agrees with our choices.”

Mikael leaned away from the computer and took Even in with all his energy. “Are you sure about all that?” His eyes were searching Even’s, and Even could see the moment Mikael saw that the way he broached the subject had been a mistake. “I am not saying he isn’t good Even. I’m just saying he is young. You’re young, and your bringing a new baby into the world. Are you sure that you are both prepared? Have you talked about what your future looks like? Does he know everything?” He pat Even’s back.

Even could tell he was being protective, but there was no time to worry now. Even had spent this whole pregnancy worrying, he simply didn’t feel like caring about it right now. Things were good at the moment, the future did not have to matter right now.

Even had no intention of answering his best friend’s questions. “Mikael we are fine. Things are good. We aren’t worrying about that right now.” He shrugged off Mikael’s comforting hand. “The baby is the focus. Isak is good. I am good. We will handle everything as it comes. There’s no point in worrying about it now.” Even returned to the computer, putting all of his focus into the cribs available and ignoring the sighs that Mikael was exhaling. He only moved to collect the pizza when it arrived, barely glancing to his friend.

“I can tell this isn’t the time to reason with you.” Mikael began. “But I don’t want you hurting yourself because you are too afraid to be honest. With both yourself and Isak.” Mikael was saying it because he cared. Even knew this. It didn’t take away from the fact that discussing the fragility of what he and Isak had would only put a damper on how Even was feeling. Right now, things were good. It was the first time he didn’t worry over Isak and the baby. So Even was going to ride that emotion until it left him. With any luck, it wouldn’t.

So, Even focused his energy on the nursery, and Mikael backed off. It wasn’t long before the doorbell rang to alert them of an arrival. Even opened the door to Isak and welcomed him in with lots of movement and noise. Isak didn’t seem to mind, although he did blush prettily when he realized Mikael was still present.

“Hi.” Isak greeted shyly. Mikael nodded his acknowledgement but did not speak when Even shot him a warning glance.

“We have been looking at furniture for the baby’s room.” Even told him energetically. He began to list the ideas he had for the room, colour palettes and design styles. He was so full of ideas that he wasn’t exactly sure how he wanted the room to come out. Even just knew he wanted it to be wild and bright, just like his child would be.

Isak sat down to look at the numerous tabs Even and Mikael had accumulated. “Well I am no expert, but I can let you know if I heard any other parents talking about any brands or styles you have.” Isak offered.

“We can order it all tonight and then paint the room while we’re waiting for everything to arrive!” Even beamed at the blond leaning forward to capture his lips in a kiss. He was so excited at the prospect of Isak actively taking part in the planning for the room, that he let it bleed through into his hands on Isak’s waist and his tongue asking for entrance at his mouth. Isak happily accepted the touches until they heard a loud clearing of a throat from the other side of the couch. Isak ducked his head in embarrassment, but Even couldn’t help but chase those lips further. He gave up when Isak refused to look up and turned his attention to Mikael.

“I think I’ll head out.” The brunet said, standing from the couch and moving to collect his things.

“Please don’t feel like you have to leave on my account.” Isak said, embarrassed.

Mikael shook his head, smiling at the blond. “You aren’t the reason I’m going.” He assured. “Just don’t want to outstay my welcome. Even can you walk me to the door?” His eyes bored into Even’s leaving no space for argument.

Even sighed but stood to follow his friend. “I’ll be right back.” He told Isak. “Look at some of the stuff while I’m gone.”

When they made it to the door, Mikael pulled his friend a hug. “Even, I like him.” He reassured him. “I just want to make sure you two are on the same page, before you get in too deep.”

Even knew this, he did. Mikael had always been protective of Even’s heart. He said Even gave it away too easily. But Even was too used to diving in, and he had yet to learn how to tread water when it came to emotions. He leaned back to look his friend in the eye, smiling so Mikael could tell he was not angry. “I know.” Even told Mikael. “But you’re too late, and I could love him.”

Mikael let his hand run through Even’s hair, allowed it to fall to his shoulder. “Oh, Even, you already do. I know. I can see it in how you smile at him, and I think I can see it in him. I just want you both to be sure. You need to give him the chance to choose you.”

“I know what he will say.”

“No, you don’t. He doesn’t know everything, and that’s not fair to him. Talk to him.”

Even nodded, accepting his friend’s worry, but he made no promises. “Goodnight Mikael.”

Mikael sighed. “Okay. Goodnight Even.”

Even let him out of the house, closing the door behind him. He returned to Isak on the couch focused intently on the computer. He enveloped the blond in a hug, making him lean into Even so that he could see the screen over his shoulder.

“Is everything okay?” He inquired, worrying his bottom lip as he glanced at Even.

“It’s perfect.” Even assured. “When we’re done ordering the furniture, you’ll help me with the painting right?” He asked, hoping to distract Isak from the dour atmosphere.

Isak nodded. “I’ll help you with anything.” He said sincerely.

Even accepted the statement for the truth. For Isak, at least right now, it was. Getting comfortable he settled in for a night of planning and spending a lot of money on delivery. There were things that needed discussing, but tonight was not that night. There was another time for worry, a time where Even didn’t feel quite so good.

+

As the days passed, Even and Isak found it a struggle to meet so often. Isak was busy with residency, and Even had taken many commissions, which he was working on in hopes of growing his savings before the baby arrived. With his growing energy and less sleep, Even was accomplishing a lot of work in a short time. He was so focused on his work, that he was not aware of just how many days had passed. He only really registered it when he saw he had a text from his boyfriend.

Isak: _Hey stranger. You weren’t here for the appointment today._

Even had not realized that it was Thursday. He had completely forgotten that Sonja and he had an appointment. They were speaking regularly, and Even vaguely remembered that she had suggested he focus on his work and not worry about this week. He hadn’t connected that she was talking about the appointment, but he had been so excited to explain to her about his interest in this jungle artwork that he had been doing for a commission that it hadn’t occurred to Even to ask for clarification.

_Isak! Why haven’t you come over? I miss you._

_We have a room to paint!_

_I have so many ideas!_

_You’re coming over right?_

_Today?_

_Tomorrow?_

_You can stay the night!_

_You know I like that!_

He returned to his task, where he had been listing ideas for colours and images he wanted present in the room. He would need to make his way to the store to get all the equipment he would need.

Isak: _Wow. I miss you too. I’ll try to come by._

_Do or do not. There is no try._

_Just kidding. Do._

_You’ll really like it when you see what I have in mind._

_I have to go get everything now, but I will see you soon right?_

_Come soon!_

Even could feel as his phone vibrated in his pocket where he had placed it, but he didn’t have the time to check it. He had a lot of things to get so that he was prepared.

+

Isak did not come by that night, but it was okay. It was actually better than if he did. This way Even can work on the room on his own and surprise the blond when he did make it to the apartment.

Isak could still help with putting the furniture together. He might feel like he didn’t get to contribute enough, but he would love what Even did to the walls.

Even had a lot of work to do, so he couldn’t waste his time before he got started.

+

Isak didn’t make it to Even’s apartment until a couple days later. A knock sounded loudly through the house that jarred Even’s concentration just enough that he confusedly made his way to the front door. He took in the bewildered blond with extreme excitement, pulling Isak into the home by his cheeks as he placed an eager kiss to his boyfriend’s opened mouth.

“I’m so happy you’re here!” He told his boyfriend as he pulled him toward the nursery. “I want to show you the room!”

“Even.” Isak began trying to slow their movements as he tried to take off his shoes. “Slow down. You’re a mess. Is everything alright?”

Even whirled around to take in his boyfriend. He had streaks of paint on his cheeks and hands where Even had touched him. “I’m amazing. The room is almost done. The baby will love it, and you need to see it.” He tried to pull Isak forward again, but the blond stood firmly in place.

“Almost done? Did you get any sleep?” Isak asked as he traced Even’s eyes with a thumb. “Even, I think you need to slow down. Have you even eaten?”

“I’m not hungry. Please let me show you the room. You’ll love it. I’ll eat after, I promise.” Even pulled again at the blond’s hands begging and pouting in hopes the blond would relent.

Isak did. “Okay. Let’s look at the room. Then we’re eating, and you are going to try to sleep.” Isak let himself be pulled into the room.

Even pushed his boyfriend into the center of the room, watching him react to the change in the space around him. Isak stood slack jawed, taking in the work Even had done over the last couple nights.

Each wall was painted, swirls of colour overpowering the room. One wall was various shades of blue, rounded and swirled to give the impression of water. Hints of coral, seaweed, seashells, and other life spread around the wall. There were the beginnings of animals painted at various locations like clown fish and turtles, providing pops of colour throughout the blue. The remaining walls had similar scenes. One a forest of greens, hinting at trees and bushes, with foxes, wolves, and other woodland creatures peaking out behind the greenery. A wall of white, a quiet winter scene, snow men and deer and polar bears roaming the scene, stars shining from a darkened sky near the top of the wall. The final wall was unfinished, pastels of flowers and fields and hidden rabbits beginning to take up the space. The ceiling was shaping into a solar system with planets and starbursts beginning to form. Even had planned to add constellations, Remus running after Romulus, Sirius barking at a passing alien ship. He was excited by the way it would come out, walls of inspiration for an imagination he would encourage to be wider than his own.

Isak walked about the room, minding the wet patches, and the unfinished areas, taking in the paint and opening a window to help with the fumes. “Even…” He began but trailed off as he turned to look at Even.

“I know it’s a lot.” Even said, he was aware he was manic, but was certain this was the right choice for the baby. “I want the room to be an escape. A place that knows no end to imagination.”

“It’s beautiful. A lot, but beautiful.” Isak said, placing his hands on Even’s cheeks, voice certain. “But you are in the middle of an episode, and you haven’t slept. I’m not sure you’ve even eaten.” He studied Even’s eyes and must have seen something of a confession in his eyes. “Let’s stop for now. We can eat and settle down. There is plenty of time before the room needs to be finished. You seem to be ahead of yourself as it is.”

Even allowed himself to be led out of the room. “You’ll stay the night, right?”

Isak nodded his head, but did not look back at Even, instead searching throughout the kitchen for a meal that would be quick and easy. He found a frozen pizza and put it on, sending Even into the shower while they waited for it to heat. Even scrubbed the paint from his fingers, off his arms and legs, and from his hair. He left his soiled clothing in a heap next to the bath, and he changed into a pair of boxers alone, too hot to look for a full pajama set.

He joined Isak in the living room, where the pizza had already been plated, and the TV was already on to act as background noise. They ate quickly. Even not hungry enough to completely empty the full plate in front of him and dodging Isak’s attempts to get him to eat more. He wanted to return to the room, to continue to make the scenes in his head a reality. Even wasn’t tired, but Isak was insisting they make it to bed.

Even conceded, if only to make the line of worry disappear from between his boyfriend’s eyes. They lay down in bed, and Even excitedly leaned into Isak to place a hungry kiss on the blond’s soft lips. Isak returned it, but would not let Even deepen it further. He caught hold of Even’s hands as they began to travel below the covers searching out friction and supple skin.

Even pulled his hands from Isak’s grip. “You’re not mad at me are you?” He studied the wrinkles around the blond’s brow, beginning to deepen as Even watched him.

“No.” Isak breathed. “It’s time to sleep Even, please. My day was long, and it looks like yours didn’t end yesterday.” He let his fingers glide over Even’s eyes, and he supposed they did feel quite heavy now that Isak had pointed it out. “There is more than enough time for other things later. Now we sleep.” Isak pulled Even towards him, tangling their arms and legs together. But Isak’s eyes did not close. He watched Even for any sign he might try to leave the bed.

Even could see this was important to Isak. He wasn’t tired, but he’d try for the blond. “Okay.” He whispered, matching Isak’s quiet tone. “But I am continuing tomorrow.” He returned Isak’s embrace letting his body quiet and his eyes close like his boyfriend’s. It wasn’t long before Isak’s breathing shallowed and sleep overtook him fully. Even could feel that he was still being held tightly. He continued to lay in bed, getting glimpses of sleep, without succumbing fully. What could have been minutes or hours later, Even felt Isak go completely slack. He took in Isak’s beautiful face, soft in sleep, and it made him want to paint even more. He disentangled from the blond, and when he was sure that Isak would not awaken, he left the bed to continue the work he had started the night before. Isak would understand when he saw that everything was completed in the morning.

+

Isak was an early riser. This was not by choice, but rather due to the nature of his job. Although he could be up all hours of the night during a delivery, most prenatal appointments took place between the hours of 8:00 and 17:00. So it was at 8:05 the next morning, that Isak found Even covered once again in paint standing in a painted nursery.

“Once we get the furniture done, we will be ready for the baby.” Even announced when he became aware of Isak’s presence. “The crib will go here, and the rocking chair here.” He moved around the room excitedly, pointing out random placements for the furniture.

“Even. There is no need to worry right now. The baby isn’t due for another three months.” Isak placed his hands on Even’s shoulders, trying to soothe him with his hands. Perhaps hoping he could leech some of the tension out of Even’s tight shoulders.

“We need to be ready now!” Even was trying to show Isak just how important it was that everything was prepared. “If we are ready, there will be no surprises. The baby will be a full-time job, so I don’t have any chance to forget things.”

Even could see the confusion on Isak’s face. “Even you will have support. It’s not like you are alone in this.” Isak sounded as if he were trying to be reassuring, but Even only felt like Isak wasn’t understanding.

“No, no, no.” Even needed to make sure Isak understood. “Sure I can ask for help from my parents, or the guys if they are available. Maybe I’ll even have you, if you stay. Lord knows I love you being here, and I want you to stay, but this is going to be just me.” He tried to explain to Isak how worried he truly was, but he just didn’t look like he was understanding. “Only me. Me and the baby. You’re welcome to the family though, if you want to be part of it.”

Isak stepped back, trying to look Even in the eyes, but Even was too excited to stay in place. “Even…” He started, but trailed off. He visibly gathered himself, to Even it looked as if he were preparing for a battle. “Why are you worried I don’t want to be a part of it? Or that you are alone. Sonja will be there as well. You two can support each other, tag team or take time as each other needs. You aren’t alone.”

“Isak.” Even gestured around the painted room. “I will be alone. I have sole custody of the baby. Sonja doesn’t want to be part of the baby’s life. Not as a mother.”

He watched Isak’s shoulders slump, his face fall in confusion. “What?” Isak breathed out. “Sonja said you made the decision to be in the baby’s life.”

Even reached out to Isak, he looked like he was shaking, though if it was from shock or a trick of the eye, Even was unsure. Why wasn’t Isak as excited as he was? “Yes. I want to be part of the baby’s life. Sonja told me it was my choice. If I didn’t want to keep the baby, she would be putting it up for adoption.”

A spark of understanding seemed to flash over Isak’s face. “You’re a single dad.” He said simply. He looked shocked, as if it had just occurred to him that this had been an option.

“A single dad, unless the man he loves wants to be around. I have an idea of what the wedding will look like already.” Even said, going for joking, but as he said it out loud, he realized he fell very short.

Isak flinched, and it broke Even’s heart.

This quietened Even’s movements. He finally felt the weight of the last few days fall on his shoulders. The fatigue was immense. He looked to Isak, seeing the confusion for what it was over. All this time Even was trying to ensure that Isak wanted to stay, but it seemed he hadn’t given Isak all the information.

“I think I need to go home.” It broke the quiet of the room, as Isak moved toward the door. “I just need time to think Even. You need sleep. This talk has to take place at a different time.”

Isak gathered his things. When he had everything, he moved to Even and placed his hand on his cheek. “We can talk about this later, okay? When you’re in a better head space.”

“Isak…” He began, but the blond had already fled the room.

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say there was gonna be some miscommunication right? Just a little though, I promise.
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with this! Let me know what you think!


	8. Messages

Even spent the next three days finishing the baby’s room. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t keep in touch, and he didn’t think about the fact that Isak did not keep in contact either. Much.

On the morning of the fourth day, Even could barely muster the energy to leave his bed. He had run himself ragged, and he could feel his episode had reached its limit. So, he collected various forms of sustenance to eat when he could. He collected water bottles and Gatorade for when he could lift a drink to his mouth. Then Even made it to his bed and collapsed.

When he next awoke, he couldn’t find the strength to get up.

+

Even weaved in and out of consciousness.

He was sleeping deeply, but it was not restful. When he was aware of the things around him, he wondered at how much time had passed. He could feel his phone vibrate beside him. Not often at first but short bursts that gained in persistence as they went unanswered. Texts seemed to be abandoned for calls, as Even felt his phone move continuously beside him. It didn’t matter though. They went unanswered as well.

It wasn’t long until his phone made no more sound or movement. It fell to a state of slumber, quiet and unmoving, similar to Even’s current state. Even knew it had died, and that soon his lack of response would worry his friends. That didn’t matter either. They would check on him soon enough, and Mikael had a key for this very reason. They would give him his time, before swooping in to ensure that Even did not become one with his bed.

So Even didn’t worry. He couldn’t. Instead he slept and ate when he was able. He let the time pass, and he coped as best as he could.

+

Later, much later than he could say, Even was pulled out of his sleep by what sounded like a knock. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t answer.

He was lulled back into his slumber to the sound of his name, whether it was real or a dream he couldn’t tell, but the voice sounded warm, familiar. Later, when he succumbed to sleep, blond hair greeted his closed eyes.

+

Mikael showed up on a Tuesday afternoon. Even knew this because Mikael informed him as he announced his presence. It had been over a week since he had last seen Isak.

“How are you feeling?” Mikael asked. He was cleaning around Even’s bed, but not really interacting with its occupant.

Even didn’t answer, but it seemed Mikael wasn’t expecting one. He gathered empty water bottles and food containers that Even had used but did not feel like cleaning. He left the room and returned with more food containers and filled water bottles and Gatorade. He placed them within reach of Even’s bed.

“Are you going to go to the washroom? Or maybe shower? Feel like moving at all? I’d like to clean your sheets.” Mikael poked at Even.

Even grunted in response but tested his arms to see if they would take his weight. Mikael and Even knew well what it was like for his depressive episodes. He was about halfway through, and the worst of his episode was behind him. He still felt too tired to do much, but he wasn’t sleeping as heavily, and he was willing to move himself into the shower at Mikael’s insistence.

When he returned from the bathroom, his bed was bare and there was the smell of pizza in the air. Even dragged himself to his living room to spend his time on the couch as Mikael filled him in on the events he had missed. He was still feeling down, and the company would drain him, but the friends had a routine at this point. Even was always more overwhelmed when he felt better and returned to his regular schedule. Times like this, where Mikael provided him quiet company, but did not overstay his welcome or push Even too far, helped to keep Even feeling more grounded during his episodes.

“So?” Even asked, giving Mikael permission to launch into his mini news report.

Mikael took to his role happily, facing Even and looping his hair behind his ears, a tell from childhood that informed listeners that serious topics were about to be discussed. “Elias got in trouble at work the other day. Something about not wanting to put up with his boss and his traditional ways or as he put it ‘his misogynistic bullshit’. It was a write up and he’s fine because it turns out he is not the only one to think this, he’s just the only one to call his boss a dick rather than logging a complaint. Yusef has asked for everyone’s opinion on how to take the next step with Sana and discuss their future and options. We’re all super happy for him. We all also think that he will not get any good advice from us and should just talk to Sana. Sonja has been messaging me ever since you let your phone die, which you know I hate. She gets the whole thing going on with you but is still annoyed that you’ve missed your second doctor’s appointment by now. Apparently, she has been listening to your man worry about you a lot. She said and I quote, ‘Get your shit together Even.’ She wants you to know she will stop by sometime this week. Your mom is annoyed you aren’t keeping her up to date about the baby. She will also be stopping by sometime this week.” He finished with a flourish and stuffed an entire slice of pizza into his mouth.

Even picked at his slice, taking in the information that had been unloaded on him. He expected to be behind on friends and families, but he wasn’t prepared for how frustrated he was by not making it to the appointments. By burying his head in the sand and not better preparing for what it would mean to be bipolar and still want to commit to this life, to Isak and the baby. He peaked at Mikael from beneath his lashes before whispering, “Isak?”

He could see how Mikael smiled sympathetically at him. It only frustrated him further to feel like he was being pitied. “Isak hasn’t really spoken to me, Even. From what I’ve heard he is worried about you, but he has been talking to Sonja so ask her when she stops by.” Mikael suggested.

Even nodded. His shoulders slumped as the weight of the conversation fell on them. Mikael seemed to sense this, getting up and placing a second slice of pizza on Even’s plate.

“I’m going to go put on a new set of sheets. I’ll put a few things away after that too. Go back to bed and feel better Even. There will be answers in the morning.” Mikael pat Even’s shoulder and then disappeared into his room.

Even ate a small amount before giving up and heading back to his bedroom. He got comfortable in the newly made bed as his eyes started to feel too heavy to keep open. He just heard Mikael as he called out from the living room.

“By the way, I plugged in your phone. It’s safe to say Isak is worried, if the messages and missed calls are something to go by. He will want to talk when you feel better.”

+

When his doorbell rang next, Even had enough energy to answer it. By the way knocking rang out following each press of the doorbell, he knew that he could not ignore who was at the door. He pulled on the door but did not wait to see who entered the house, making his way to the living room to wrap himself in a blanket and get comfortable. Whoever it was would follow after him if it was important.

“You’re going to have to stop doing that when the baby arrives.” Sonja said as she followed him into the living room. “You might not care if a serial killer had an evil plan to kill whoever first opened their door, but people will blame you for such a rookie mistake.” She took in Even’s appearance and he could see when her shoulders slumped in sympathy. Sonja had a front row seat to his worst episodes, so it made sense that she would be worried for him now, after all these years.

Even gestured to the couch, offering a seat. “Hi, Sonja. Are you and the baby well?”

She sat close to Even, allowing him to place his hands on the growing bump of her stomach. “As well as can be, when you are in your third trimester and nervous about everything that is happening, but also worried because the baby’s father is going through something and you can’t help him.” She shook her head, denying Even’s desire to apologize just by catching the downturn of his lips. “Despite what you may have been told, I am not here to yell at you.”

Even let out a sigh of relief, he wasn’t ready to deal with lectures yet. “You’re here because?”

“Because the baby and I are worried about you. Little thing keeps kicking out and bugging me every time I think about you, so I figured I’d do us both a favour and check in on you.” As she said this, Even become aware of the movement from the bump, as if acknowledging Sonja’s words. It was like the baby was greeting him, and Even couldn’t help the soft sound of joy that escaped him. They were quiet for a while, enjoying the moment with the baby and appreciating the growing calm that permeated the room.

“Are you feeling better?” Sonja asked, breaking the quiet.

Even nodded. “I’m not one hundred, but I am getting there.”

“So, you think you will be ready to come to the next appointment?” Sonja asked, trying to keep her hands busy by fiddling with the blanket on Even’s legs. She was avoiding eye contact with him.

“I think so.” Even said considering. “Has everything been ok?”

Sonja nodded emphatically. “Yes, the baby is fine! The tests all came back negative.” She was quick to assure. “Blondie on the other hand…” And now Even knew what she was getting at.

“I don’t know what to say, Sonja.” He removed his hands from her stomach, giving them space for the emotions the conversation might stir up.

“That’s because you’re ignoring it.” Sonja said bluntly. “I get it, Even, the timing is not good. But you chose to get into a relationship with the doctor delivering the baby. You can’t just hide away and ignore the problem. That’s very high school of you, and need I remind you that you’re about to be a dad now.” Sonja had never been one for beating around the bush.

It was Even who could not meet her eyes now. “He just left Sonja.”

Even heard the scoff, looking up just in time to catch her rolling her eyes. “Please. From what I had to hear, you were manic and probably hard to talk to rationally. He saved you both a fight by getting out of there in order to think.”

Even didn’t want to admit she had a point, so he focused on only one part of her words. “He talked to you about me?”

Again, Sonja huffed at his words. “I had an hour-long appointment where maybe 15 minutes focused on the baby and 45 minutes focused on how you aren’t answering his texts.”

Even looked guiltily towards his phone, still notifying that he had unanswered messages from the blond. “He must hate me.”

“I am not doing you the favour of telling you our conversation. Listening to it once was enough. But I will say he doesn’t hate you. He feels like an idiot because he didn’t get the deal with you and the baby, but then we were idiots too because we didn’t tell him clearly. Well, you’re an idiot. I would have made that clear when I started dating him. Talk to him. Discuss what happened and figure out where you two stand. And for the love of god, please show up to the next appointment so I don’t have to hear blondie moping.” Sonja said it so simply, as if it was the only logical answer and Even was silly to worry over it.

Even was still going to worry over it.

“I am afraid of what he will say.” Even admitted quietly.

“And you think coming up with your own story is a better idea than just talking to him?” Sonja asked. “I do not miss competing with your imagination. Read his texts and answer them. Better yet, just talk to him. Do it before the next appointment.” She suggested.

Even sighed but nodded at her words. “I’ll try.”

“Great.” Sonja said, considering the conversation finished. “Now, can I see this nursery Isak talked about? It sounds amazing.”  


Even agreed easily enough. He lifted himself from the couch and led her to the extra room.

The rest of the day was spent on less serious conversation.

+

Yousef: _Can you please call Isak? I had to hear from Sana that you’re an asshole and a coward._

Mikael: _You still haven’t?_

Elias: _What happened now?_

Mikael: _Even was intense._

Elias: _What’s new?_

Yousef: _Isak didn’t know Even has full custody._

Elias: _Wow._

Mikael: _You’d think Even would have said that exact sentence to make sure they were on the same page._

_I can’t blame him for running away._

Elias: _Running away?!?_

Elias: _He ran away?_

_Well_

_Not exactly._

_He said we’d talk when I was in a better frame of mind._

Elias: _So you’re just lying to me?_

Yousef: _Seems pretty mature of him to me._

Mikael: _He keeps bugging Sonja about him. Checking if he’s okay._

Yousef: _Sana too._

Yousef: _If he’s checking on you this much, it’s safe to say he isn’t running for the hills._

Elias: _Seems like he’s still interested._

_I’m gonna be a single dad and he didn’t know._

Mikael: _He did know._

Mikael: _He just didn’t know how single._

Mikael: _Or well, how dad._

Elias: _Are you just embarrassed?_

_…no_

Mikael: _Afraid what he will say?_

Mikael: _Oh my god. I know._

Mikael: _There’s more to it isn’t there._

_I may have told him I loved him before he ran away._

Elias: _Yikes._

Yousef: _I don’t know if it’s that yikes…_

Yousef: _He’s still asking about you, so clearly you didn’t scare him off._

Mikael: _Oh my god Even, just talk to him._

+

His friends were right. All Even had to do was open his messages to Isak or give him a call. Things could get sorted, and Even could stop creating scenarios in his head about how things would go.

He just had to gain the courage to actually do it.

He could.

It would be fine.

He had just about mustered the courage when he received a text from a number he didn’t recognize. Focusing on that instead, he opened it.

Maybe: Jonas: _What is your fucking problem?_

Maybe: Jonas: _I warned you not to hurt him._

Well, shit.

+

Even did not take Sonja’s advice. He did not take his friends advice either. He did not try to talk to Isak before the appointment, he did not respond to the messages that still sat unread on his phone, and now he sat in the hall waiting to see the doctor with more dread than he felt in the last few months.

When he entered the room with Sonja, he pointedly ignored her rolling her eyes and sat completely still in the chair hoping he might camouflage himself and blend into the wall. It was agonizing waiting for Isak’s arrival.

In the end it was anticlimactic.

Isak entered the room, greeted both Sonja and Even, and then went about setting up all the tests and checking in on Sonja and how she was feeling. He was nothing but professional, and Even was more frustrated by this than a cold shoulder.

Isak completed the necessary work, took all the necessary notes, and answered their questions. Even struggled to keep the same professional aura, and he could tell Sonja noticed the odd atmosphere as well. He didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that she didn’t call them out on it.

“Is everyone feeling good as we are heading into the waiting game?” Isak asked, having finished the tasks needed for the appointment.

“Just tired and ready to eat whatever I want again.” Sonja complained.

Isak chuckled. “And you, Even?” He looked at Even calmly. His words were inviting conversation, but his expression was closed off. Professional. Even hated it.

Even cleared his throat, hoping to dislodge the lump that had formed there. “Feeling better, yeah.” He tried to smile, hoping Isak would reciprocate but disappointed when he didn’t. “Just ready to see the baby.”

Isak’s nod was curt. “Well. Anytime now. Things are looking good so there is nothing to worry about. We will see each other in two weeks. Any other questions?” When no one answered immediately, Isak rushed to end the appointment. 

Sonja stood and ushered Even out of the room, so that they left together. She waited until the door had swung close behind them before turning on Even. “You and blondie need to get your shit together.”

Even let his mouth fall at her blunt statement. Unsure how to answer, he gestured at the door behind him. “He didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Oh please, blondie was professional. We were in a professional setting. He behaved better than you.” She raised an eyebrow at Even pointing a finger accusingly at his chest. “He doesn’t know your routine with your episodes. You said something big and went on radio silence when it didn’t work out as you expected. I’m impressed blondie didn’t kick your ass when he saw you.”

Even once again was left speechless by her words. Sonja would not let him off easily, however. She crossed her arms over her growing bump and waited for Even to try to crawl out of the hole he had dug himself. Even knew that task was going to be hard to do, so he decided to focus on a distraction tactic. “Why do you call him blondie? We’re all blond.”

“Don’t try, Even. You need to fix this. Talk to him.” Sonja waited for Even to agree. He did so reluctantly, after all it was for his benefit. She nodded, satisfied he would contact Isak. “Good. You’re going to go back in there now. Ask to talk to him. Or if you are still feeling pansy about it, text him. Anyways, the reason he is blondie is because yes, I am blond, but I am not ‘the blond of your life’, he is. He’s also a bit of an idiot, just like you. So, he gets a nickname.” She smiled at the easing of Even’s shoulders. He let out a small huff of laughter to let her know that she had diffused the tension that had formed at the idea of speaking to Isak now. “Seriously Even, I am going home now to eat veggies and sleep. Talk to him.”

“Bye Sonja.”

Even waved as she exited the building, still standing in the hallway of the office, unsure of his next steps. He did want to talk to Isak, but he was afraid to face him after such a disastrous last meeting. Isak’s cool professionalism didn’t give Even any hints as to what he was thinking. Even didn’t know what to expect and that always caused a greater level of anxiety within him. Without a clue to what Isak was thinking, Even was wont to jump to conclusions and think the worst. It was why he wouldn’t text first, why he would actively avoid confrontation, and try to minimize the extent of damage to his heart. He would rather think the worst, than be proven correct.

But he had to talk to Isak. He wasn’t feeling better that he had cut communication. Nothing felt minimized. He was still hurting, and from what Sonja said, he was causing hurt in return. So, he would contact Isak, but did he have the nerves to do so now, or would he wait to text Isak when he was back home?

Fate took the option from his hands, as the door behind him reopened and Isak walked directly into his back. Even turned quickly to try to balance himself, but Isak still dropped all the papers he had been carrying.

“Hi.” Even said, embarrassed at the commotion he had created. He bent down quickly to begin picking up the papers that had scattered across the floor.

“Um, hi.” Isak whispered, cheeks pinkening under the fluorescent lights. He lowered himself to his knees to help Even clean the mess. “What are you still doing here?” The blond asked, hands on papers and eyes avoiding Even’s searching ones.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Even stated bluntly. He supposed the truth was better than saving face at this point.

Isak reddened further. “Oh.” He breathed. He took the papers Even offered him and stood from the floor. “I mean, that’s good, but I am a bit busy at the moment.” He lifted the stack of paper.

Even looked up and down the hallway, taking in the patients and medical staff who were rushing through the corridor. “Right.” He said. “Sorry to bother you.” He ran his hand through his hair, hoping to hide his embarrassment.

“But...”

Even perked at the word, taking in Isak’s eyes. They no longer seemed so cold. “But?” He asked.

“I might be free later. To talk?” Isak mirrored Even’s earlier gesture, letting his free hand run through his curls.

Even felt a weight lift from his shoulders. “Yeah?”

Isak nodded. “Yeah. Just text me. Maybe reply to my messages?” Maybe he intended it as a joke, but Even cringed at the guilt the statement caused.

“Okay.” He conceded. “Tonight maybe?”

Isak looked like he was considering it. “Yeah. Maybe. Anyways, I have to go.” He pointed to the left and soon after turned in that direction, leaving Even in the middle of the hall.

“Isak!” He called out to the blond’s retreating back. Isak turned to look at him. “Goodbye.” He stated simply. “Talk to you soon.”

Isak smiled gently. “Yeah Even, talk to you soon.” He saluted Even and turned back to his work.

“Will it be a good talk?” Even called, just before the blond disappeared down the hallway.

Isak looked to him once more. Even didn’t miss the growing smile playing at his lips. “Oh my god, Even! Let me go to work. And read your damn texts.” He called in exasperation. His mood was brighter now than when Even had arrived.

“Okay, okay.” He relented. “We will have a good talk soon.”

He let Isak escape down the hallway.

+

Even was nervous.

He arrived home unsure of how to broach the important conversation with Isak that needed to take place sooner than later. He currently stood in his hallway, pacing from his bedroom to the kitchen where he would stare at his phone as if it would burn him upon touching. Then he’d complete the circuit again.

It felt as if he had turned away from his phone so often that he wore down the lamination on his floor when he finally built up the courage to text the blond. What would he say to Isak? How would he word his request? Worst of all, what had Isak already sent?

He opened his phone to a different chat.

_About that warning…_

_Will you forgive me for being an idiot with him?_

_Will he forgive me?_

Jonas: _I have had to put up with days of him pining after you._

Jonas: _I would forgive anything at this point if it meant I get to stop listening to him._

Jonas: _He had his time to think, and now he wants to talk to you._

Jonas: _Be a man about it and answer his fucking texts._

It seemed everyone was for Even being an adult about this. He had no other choice. It was time to stop worrying.

It seemed that his worries were, once again, all for not. He opened the messages and read Isak’s words to him.

Isak: _Even, I’m sorry I just left._

Isak: _It was cowardly of me._

Isak: _I want to talk about this._

Isak: _I just don’t think this is a good time with how you’re feeling._

Isak: _Can we talk later?_

Isak: _When you feel more up to it?_

Isak: _It’s okay if it takes a while…_

_………_

Isak: _Even._

Isak: _How are you feeling?_

Isak: _Was that a stupid question?_

Isak: _I haven’t heard from you in awhile_

Isak: _Maybe it’s too early for you…_

Isak: _I don’t want to leave it like this_

_……_

Isak: _I tried to come by your place, today._

Isak: _Did you hear me knock?_

Isak: Maybe _It was too much…_

Isak: _Let me know when you want to talk. Anytime._

Isak: _I’ll give you space now._

Isak: _< 3_

Okay.

So Even had clearly blown this out of proportion. And he made it worse for Isak as well. It was time to fix this. Or at least figure out what the next steps were.

_When are you free?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Find Me: tumblr: https://iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com/
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	9. Communication

Isak would arrive within the hour, and Even was no more prepared for this conversation than he had been before he had his episode. So Even spent his time cleaning the house, making himself presentable, and cooking something to eat. He tried to make it as fancy as he could, so that he could focus on the food rather than Isak’s words if need be. He placed the meal into the oven and was left with nothing to do with his hands.

He settled himself into the living room to wait it out. Putting music on in the background, Even began to doodle in one of his sketchbooks. He tried to capture Isak’s eyes by memory, the curve of his cupid’s bow, the slant of his shoulders. Even became so engrossed that he lost track of time, only returning fully to the living room when he heard a soft knock on the door.

Even took a large breath as he made his way door, hoping to rid himself of the jitters present in his bones. He reached forward, letting the door fall back with his movement, leaving a large space between him and his guest.

Isak stood on the other side of the door, cheeks pink from cold or nerves, Even did not know. “Hi.” He breathed in greeting, eyes roaming across Even’s form before meeting his eyes.

“Hi.” He gestured for Isak to come in, following the blond’s movements as he did. “Are you hungry? I have food in the oven.” Even searched for something else to focus on, not wanting to sit in awkward silence any more than necessary. He moved about restlessly, hoping to take Isak’s jacket, move his shoes out of the way, send Isak toward the kitchen. Useless things to keep him occupied.

Isak watched him as he paced but seemed to take pity on him. “I could eat.” He said easily enough. “But I think maybe we should talk first?”

“Oh.” Even ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t feel comfortable having all his attention on Isak, not when he couldn’t anticipate what he’d say. “Right. Let me get you some water then, just wait in the living room.” He didn’t wait for an answer, rushing to the kitchen to turn off the oven and do as he said. He returned shortly after, taking a moment to fortify himself before entering the room.

He watched Isak sitting on the couch, tense, but not uncomfortable. His expression giving no hint that he did not want to be here. Isak wanted to talk, Even knew this, his texts said so. It was time to figure this out.

“So.” Even began placing a cup next to Isak. “I’m sorry. For how I behaved during my episode.” His hands held tightly to his cup, like a lifeline.

“It wasn’t the episode, Even. I feel like I misunderstood all of our conversations, like I was missing half the story. I felt like an idiot.” Isak mirrored his movements, taking a sip from his cup. “You told me you weren’t together. I knew you wanted to be there for the baby, but I thought you were doing it together, fifty-fifty.”

“I didn’t mean to lie to you, Isak.” Even was so sorry for that. He didn’t know how to show that.

Isak laughed, but it was humorless. “You didn’t though, Even. I heard you and Sonja talk about it, I heard every time she said ‘your’ baby not ‘ours’ and every time she said it was up to you and not her, and every time you worried about dealing with this alone. I didn’t listen, and I didn’t put it together. I minimized your worries and supplied my own answers, and I feel like shit about it. Did you not trust me to be there for you? Did I make it seem like I wouldn’t support you?”

“I was scared Isak. It’s so much to ask of you. To be there for me with the baby and with my episodes. How could I ever ask that of you? In the time I’ve known you, I know you deserve the world. I can’t give that to you. How could I ever ask you to be there? You saw how I acted. I can’t blame you for running, for being hurt. I don’t feel like I could ever deserve you. I deserve all of the anger you’re feeling.” How could he ever make it up to this man before him, this man who still came to talk after all that happened, who even know didn’t look like he accepted Even’s view of himself?

Isak’s brow furrowed. “Even, I am not angry about how you acted. I understand you weren’t one-hundred percent at the time, that’s ok.” He leaned forward. “You have to understand. You were saying so many things, and I knew you might not want to be saying all the things you were. I don’t know if you meant it. You told me you loved me for the first time, and I wasn’t sure if you meant to. You were talking about wanting to marry me, and I don’t know if you really meant anything by it. I didn’t want to push you, make you uncomfortable for when you felt better equipped to talk about the things you wanted to. I didn’t want to hear anything you didn’t truly want to tell me. Talking to you wasn’t going to achieve anything right then, and I needed time to process all the new information I suddenly had.”

Even moved forward as well, closing the distance between them but still too scared to reach out. “I’m sorry. I am still dealing with my diagnosis. I’m better than I was in high school, but I still pull away when things go wrong. And Isak, I know you didn’t know enough, I know that I was in a state, but from what I could see things were going so right before that. I didn’t want to weigh anything down or scare you away. I didn’t share enough of myself with you, and I ruined it.”

“Things aren’t broken yet, Even. They’re just bruised, but you have to talk to me so we can figure this out. Things haven’t been easy for me in high school either, but I learned that talking about it will always be better than making assumptions. You need to stop making stories up in your head and talk to me. We can find the answers together.”

Even looked away, chastised. He needed to start from the beginning. To put it all out there. “Okay. You might want to make yourself comfortable.” Isak gave him a small smile, encouraging him to continue as he did just that.

“We told you what happened. Sonja and I had one night together. When she told me about the baby, she made it clear that I could take on sole custody or the baby would be put up for adoption. It took a lot of thinking, but in the end, I had no choice at all. I told her I want the baby. And then we met.” It was getting hard to talk now, but Even took a deep breath and forced himself to continue. “We met, and you were beautiful. And you reciprocated my feelings, so easily it seemed like a dream. You knew I was having a baby and didn’t care. It was amazing. I’ve never had someone fit so easily. It was scary though. So many unknowns suddenly everywhere. The baby and you were the most important things and the unknowns could break that. I could ruin you both, and I don’t want that. I want to be the best for you. Both of you.”

“Even. You can be.” Isak’s hand cradled Even’s cheek. “You can try your best, and you will be giving the baby and I everything we need. We don’t expect perfection. I would have liked more clarity on the level of involvement Sonja would have, but you being a full time dad? That isn’t a deal breaker for me. I love that you care so much about your child. I love that you want to be there. My dad never did, and you already show that you care so much more than he did. It’s a lot I admit, and I had to think really hard for a long while, but Even its not really like I even have a real choice either. I told you I want to be with someone who is there for their child. Why should it make a difference if it’s fifty percent of the time or a hundred? It might take a lot of work, but I want to be with you. I really do.” Isak pressed a kiss onto Even’s shaking lips. “I’m not afraid of your family. I want to be a part of it.”

Despite his effort to hold it back, Even felt the first tear fall. “Really?” His voice was watery, but the music of Isak’s laugh that his question elicited was worth it. “Isak. I know it’s a lot, but I love you. I want you to be part of this with me, as long as you’re willing.”

Isak’s eyes looked so blue in the glow of the setting sun, “I want that. Really badly.” He pulled Even into a kiss, painting his words across Even’s heated skin. “I love you.”

+

After dinner, Isak leaned into Even’s chest taking up most of the space on the couch. Even didn’t mind. He felt warm, more confident in his future and what it would look like. The only butterflies in his stomach were excitement at the options laying before them. Because they were a ‘them.’ A pair that would navigate the rough waters of the unknown together, and always find their way to shore.

Even settled his lips against Isak’s ear, whispering gently, “Stay?”

He felt the shiver that flowed through Isak’s body, in awe of the sense of connectedness he felt growing ever further.

“Always.” The blond sighed.

It wasn’t long until they made their way to their bed.

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit of a mini chapter because I started writing it and it went longer than I expected. It also veered from the course of what I had planned for the next chapter update. 
> 
> My plan is to put this up here as a mini update and then update fully when I complete what was supposed to be one chapter. So that means I am updating slightly earlier than I had planned, and still plan to have what was intended to be the next chapter up in my usual timeline of one week from chapter 8.
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	10. Gifts

They were close to the end. Appointments had become more like check ins than checkups. Sonja was doing well, though fatigued, and the baby looked good. It moved around a lot, and Even couldn’t help but think his child was just as energetic as he was. He looked forward to seeing their personality in person.

He and Isak were doing well too. They were more settled in their skin, working around each other and complimenting each other’s moods. They were discussing their feelings and opening up with each other.

Even purposely ignored the sly and self-satisfied looks Sonja sent his way, in the short time they spent in the room. But it didn’t stop him from pulling the doctor into a kiss when all was finished, and they were meant to go.

“See you at home tonight?” Even breathed against the blond’s lips as they pulled apart.

Isak blushed, particularly at the hoot of laughter that escaped from Sonja’s direction. “Yeah. See you at home.” His smile was worth any ribbing Sonja could give.

+

Isak spent nearly every night at Even’s now.

He said it was because it was quieter there, but Even suspected he slept better with another person in bed with him. Even knew he did himself, and the way that Isak clung to him at night gave him a hint that the blond felt the same. He didn’t mind. They needed all the sleep they could get now, because it would be gone in under a month. Even often joked that Isak would find his way back to the apartment with Jonas when he realized there was a louder person at Even’s house. Isak would always respond that children making noise is preferable to a fully grown adult who should know better. Even wouldn’t fight him on that view, as long as Isak wanted to stay with him.

Even now, it was Isak’s day off, but he let Even work on a commission while he set his mind to constructing the furniture for the baby room.

“Are you sure you don’t want my help, baby?” Even asked one last time, having collected his computer and necessary tools.

Isak looked up from the instruction manual in front of him. “I want to still like you when this is done.” He huffed.

Even laughed. “Okay, Okay. Well call me if you need anything.” Even spent one more moment watching the blond’s furrowed brow. He appreciated the look of concentration on Isak’s face, the way he mouthed the words in the guide as he read them, the movement of his lithe fingers as they took hold of the needed materials. It took a clearing of Isak’s throat for Even to realize he had been staring. With the feeling of heat on his cheeks, Even made his way out of the room and into the living room.

Even lost himself to his work, the curve of lines, the depth of shading, the cool tones of the hues he was using. He was able to finish the majority of the base of the work, before he was brought to the real world, giving his attention to Isak who let him know he was putting dinner on. Even smiled at his boyfriend and watched as he moved about the room as comfortable in it as if it were his own. He took in his surroundings, Isak’s jacket splayed casually across the couch, Isak’s medical journals littering the coffee table. Amused he strolled about the apartment, first taking in Isak’s growing pile of shoes at the door, his towel and toothbrush taking up space in the bathroom, his clothes piling up in Even’s laundry basket. Even tidied their room a little, noticing the rumpled state of the sheets where Isak slept but did not bother to fix. He took in an alarm clock that had migrated to his bedside table, clearly Isak’s, as Even tended to rise with the sun (or with a little help from his phone when needed).

Even couldn’t keep the smile from his lips as he realized Isak was truly making himself at home. The bedroom slowly becoming more than Even’s alone. The apartment was becoming a home. Even was clearly moving from being single to committed, and it seemed soon he would have a family. If Isak wanted to be part of it, which after their talk, seemed to be a yes. 

The scent of a homecooked meal began to permeate the apartment, and Even was excited at the domestic scene it blossomed in his mind. He just had one more room to check before he joined the blond in the kitchen.

When Even entered the baby’s room, he was taken by the placement of the furniture Isak had assembled. A cradle centered in front of the winter wall, bracketed by animals and snowmen, under a full moon. It complimented the weather outside, snowy and bright. A changing table and dresser were positioned strategically against another wall, placed in such a way to compliment the murals on the walls, rather than hide them. Finally, situated close to the cradle was a rocking chair that Even did not remember purchasing. It was wide and padded, large enough to fit two adults comfortably with extra space, as if it were built to accommodate a child growing on it and sharing a spot next to their parents. 

Even was still admiring it when he felt arms snake around his middle. He rested his own on top of Isak’s and turned his head to take in the blond as much as he could at the angle afforded to him. He took in the blond curls leaning on his shoulder and asked gently, “Where did the rocker come from?”

He could just make out the pinkening of the blond’s cheeks, as he struggled to answer. “Well… I saw it one day when I was looking online, and I just thought that perhaps, you might want to read some stories to the baby.” He pushed his forehead into Even’s shoulder as if afraid to be seen when his next words reached Even. “And I thought… maybe… maybe I could read to the baby too? Something scientific of course, about dinosaurs or dirt or something like that… Or we could read together if you wanted.”

Isak was rambling, and Even thought it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He turned in Isak’s embrace and pulled his head up with hands on either cheek. Isak quieted, but he looked hopefully into Even’s eyes, and Even felt such a swell of love for this man before him. The kiss he placed on Isak’s lips was soft, reverent. He felt as if he were placing a prayer into the blond’s skin; a silent plea to keep this man for as long as he could. Isak returned the kiss, deepened it, placed an entirely different promise onto Even’s skin.

They parted only when the scent of burning reached their noses. Isak muttering a swear as he rushed to the kitchen, Even following shortly behind him. They ate a partly burnt lasagna that night. Even swore he had never eaten anything so delicious, ignoring Isak rolling his eyes to bask in the small smiles he trained on his plate, as if trying to hide them from Even.

+

At their latest appointment Sonja was doing well.

They were in the final stretch. Just about a month until the baby was due and everything was prepared at home for the impending arrival.

Sonja’s sugar levels weren’t too high, her blood pressure was good, and all the stats were healthy. Isak was feeling the baby’s position, when Even noticed a slight downturn of his lips.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. Isak didn’t tend to frown in the office.

The blond’s face cleared when he looked at Even. “No everything is okay, the baby is just moving a lot. It seems like the head is up here,” he indicated to the top of Sonja’s stomach, “So the baby would be in breech position, but it is nothing of concern yet. I’ll just have to make a note to double check next time.” Isak smiled reassuringly at the two.

Even asked confused, “Is that a bad thing?” He didn’t want the baby to be in danger.

Isak shook his head. “We keep an eye on it because we want the baby in proper position at time of birth, I.E. head first, but the baby moves a lot, so we will just keep an eye on it.” He pat Even’s knee reassuringly. Even was nervous, but he took Isak at his word.

When they concluded the appointment Even helped Sonja down from her seat, taking the moment to confirm. “Are you still okay to make it Saturday?”

Sonja rolled her eyes but answered sweetly enough. “I will be there.”

Even heaved a relieved sigh. “Okay. See you then.”

+

The Baby Shower was chaotic.

Even honestly didn’t know what he had been expecting. The apartment was not suitable for the number of people who had agreed to come, and Even didn’t trust people not to bring tag-alongs, so he had needed to rent out the community space located near the apartment. He felt lucky he did; the place was busy and a mess had slowly started to form as the room filled.

Even was appreciative of every person who took the time to make an appearance and provide wisdom and presents as the day wore on. His parents spent their time cooing over Sonja and asking about her symptoms. Both thought that they would be able to figure out the gender and personality of the baby based off this alone. Aunts and Uncles made quick appearances, eating cake and dropping off gifts before wishing Even the best of luck and disappearing.

Even spent the majority of his time with Mikael, Elias, and Yousef as Isak wasn’t due to arrive until the party was close to an end. Even was secretly relieved to not have to introduce Isak to the family, especially at a point when he knew many would not be able to hold back a word or two about their unique situation. His friends joked around, making innuendos and refusing to share their joint gift in public. Even knew to be worried when Sana had given him her gift, a set of doctor approved baby bottles, and said she ‘did not want to be associated with the abomination’ that his friends had gotten. Even was both horrified and intrigued.

He watched his family mingle, excited at the prospect of a new Bech Næsheim arriving soon. He watched as Mikael’s parents, and then Elias’ parents stopped by to wish him luck, and with each greeting Even longed for someone else to enter the room. He made small talk as the room filled with more people and purposely separated from his friends to welcome Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus and their girlfriends as they stopped by.

Accepting their gift graciously, Even gestured to the older woman whose arm was encircling Jonas’ asking, “I don’t believe we have met?” Before taking her hand in greeting.

Jonas shrugged, “Isak wasn’t sure he would make it on time, so I picked her up at the train station. Even, this is Marianne Valtersen.”

Even felt his eyes widen, taking the frail blonde in front of him in. Isak had invited his mother. To Even’s baby shower. Even struggled to find the words for what he was feeling. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Valtersen.” He settled on. He breathed out a sigh of relief when kind eyes took him in, and Marianne smiled.

“Nice to meet you too. I have heard a lot about you. In fact, congratulations are in order.” She placed her hand against his cheek. “I can see why he likes you.”

Even blushed, unused to kind attention from the parents of those he dated. “Thank you.” He hoped she could tell how sincere he truly was. “Can I introduce you to my parents?” He asked, already leading her to the opposite side of the room. After introductions, Even rapidly began to feel out of place as the parents bonded. He finally left them alone, at their urging, when he spotted blond curls talking to Mikael.

When he reached the group, he leaned down to whisper in Isak’s ear, “You invited your Mom?” He couldn’t contain the excitement that ignited in him.

The blond leaned into his chest. “Where is she? I should go say hello.” He turned his head for a kiss, which Even happily provided.

Even pointed Isak in the right direction, and let the blond wander off on his own. The party was winding down and most people were making their exits, so Even stayed near the door thanking people for coming and wishing them well.

He watched Isak from afar, first talking to his mother before being pulled into conversation with Even’s parents. He watched as Isak blushed under their eyes, how he searched for Even and sent him a look that suggested Isak wanted help, how he rolled his eyes when Even only responded by smiling brightly and waving.

It was only when his parents made their way to the door, Isak and his mother trailing behind them, that Even took part in the conversation.

His mother gave him a strong hug, whispering in his ear, “You found a good one.” She placed a wet kiss on his cheek before wishing him goodbye.

His father clapped him on the back, before pulling Even into a hug of his own. He wasn’t at all quiet when he said, “Who knew you could pull in the hot ones?” winking at his son and smiling brightly at Even’s heated cheeks. Even’s only consolation was that Isak was sporting similarly red cheeks, that his mother was stroking laughingly as she wished her own goodbyes.

Marianne placed a hand on Even’s cheek, letting her thumb trace his smile. “I like that you make him happy.” she told him as Isak was occupied wishing Even’s parents farewell. “You have a good family here. Thank you for letting him in it.”

Even cupped her hand with his own, bringing it down to his side and squeezing it. “For as long as he wants it.” It was a promise, one that Even knew to be true in his bones.

Marianne smiled. “Forever then.” Then she was off in the night.

+

Even returned to the apartment with Isak, and their crew of friends, although their girlfriends left to have their own get together. The boys insisted on seeing Even’s reaction to their gifts, promising to leave soon after.

“If you just put the extra gifts in the nursery, I’ll grab some beers for everyone.” He pointed to the correct door. “And some water for us.” He told Yousef who smiled appreciatively.

When they all congregated in the living room, Even sat in the center of the couch, Isak pushed up to his side. The boys took their own spots, all within view of Even and waited to hand out their presents.

“Even.” Mikael said, placing a large bag in front of him. “Sana doesn’t know what she’s talking about and you will love this.”

Even took hold of the bag nervously. He opened it, peering down at the first thing laying at the top of the package. “You’re kidding.”

“It’s best to put it on now.” Elias said solemnly.

Even laughed but pulled out the matching green sweater and snap back combo and pulled the sweater over his shirt. He proudly showed the saying to the group. The term _Certified DILF_ emblazoned on the front. He placed the matching snapback on his head, though it said _Baby Daddy_ on its front. “Whose idea was this?” He asked.

“It was a joint effort of course, but Isak approved.” Mikael said smugly. “We asked him and everything.”

Elias snorted beside him, leaning back to peer at the back of the sweater. “We sure did. When we talked to him at the bar, he said you were the hottest Dad to be he had encountered. We had to let the world know.”

He pointed to an area of the sweater Even couldn’t see, but by the way the blond’s cheeks reddened when he looked, Even could tell he was missing something. “What does it say?” Even asked his boyfriend.

Isak placed his face in his hands, all mock embarrassment, “It says, Valtersen approved.” He didn’t lift his face from his hands until the laughter of his friends had died down.

“The snapback is actually for Isak.” Yousef offered quietly. “Even has a habit of getting lost so we figured he might need a visual cue to find you in a crowd.” He told the blond.

Even felt his cheeks warm and turned to Isak. The blond’s eyes were wide, but he was looking at the hat with something that Even would liken to desire. He pulled the hat off his head and placed it on Isak’s. He appreciated the view for a moment before saying loudly enough to be heard, “You look so fucking hot right now Isak.” He would endure any level of noise from the boys to see how Isak’s eyes darkened like that.

“Okay, enough of that,” Mikael said, pulling a face at Even. “There is more in there you know.”

Even pulled out the baby clothes that his friends had gotten, feeling as his eyes began to fog. They had paid for customized onesies. Each one had a different image on it, one a scene from Romeo and Juliet, another from Pretty Woman. But what made the images special, was that they all were sketches, Even’s sketches placed on onesies. Each one had a statement on the back, _A work of art by Even Bech Næsheim. Just like me._ Even sat quietly, looking at each onesie, how they showcased his art, how they advertised his brand. He pulled Elias into a hug beside him and beckoned Yousef and Mikael to join. “Thank you.” He whispered. “It’s perfect. I love it.” He told his friends honestly.

“We love you. This baby is going to be great, just like you.”

The room was quiet as the friends hugged, Isak watching fondly from beside them. That is until Jonas said, “We should have gone first.”

Even laughed out loud. “You didn’t have to get me anything. I’m sure I’ll love it.” He promised.

“Isak would have killed us if we didn’t get you anything.” Mahdi said as he passed Even a wrapped present.

Even took the present. “Have you seen it?” He asked Isak. When he shook his head no, Even handed him the box. “Then you open it.”

Isak’s hands shook where they held the package. “Are you sure?” Even stared into his eyes, certain in every way about the two of them. Even didn’t know what Isak saw, but whatever it was must have been enough to assure him. His hands stilled before he moved to rip the wrapping paper. Again, there was a series of onesies, towels and blankets. Each one had a science fact or quote on them. The onesies stating things like _future rocket scientist_ and the like. Isak laughed at the puns and images, and Even was made happier each moment he gained that told him Isak was in this for the long haul.

“You are idiots.” Isak said fondly when he pulled out a small sweater at the bottom of the box. It was a dark green, the same as his sweater and Isak’s hat, the colour reminded Even of Isak’s eyes. He laughed aloud when he saw the words on the back. _Some people only get one daddy_. It was written in the same font as their clothes, and Even could see how his friends laughed when they saw it, delighted that the three had chosen to take part in the joke. Isak rolled his eyes at his friends, but Even could see how tightly he held the sweater to his chest, how he was still sporting the snap back on his blond curls.

“Thank you guys, truly.” Even told his friends, reaching out to take hold of Isak’s hand. “This is perfect.” He beamed at the group.

“Glad you liked it.” Magnus said from the floor. “I said we should get you a book on how to have sex with a baby in the house, but the guys said that was an ‘invasion of privacy’ and ‘kind of gross.’ I think it could be helpful.”

Even felt as if he hadn’t laughed so much in one day. He had to hold back Isak as he attempted to tackle Magnus.

Once the gifts were given and the second round of drinks handed out, Mikael led the group in a congratulatory cheer. “To Even!” The group chorused back.

“To making bad decisions on lonely nights!” Elias added cheekily. Even laughed.

“To it working out in the end!” Yousef said, pushing his friend over for his words.

“To meeting pretty blonds!” Jonas joined in, making Isak blush prettily.

“To putting up with them!” Mahdi smiled.

“To having sex!” Magnus added loudly. That elicited a serious of loud groans, Isak throwing a coaster at him.

The group looked to Even, waiting for him to take part. “To being very lucky.” He smiled as he pulled Isak further into his arms.

There was a chorus of cheering, clinking of glasses, but before Even took a sip of his drink, Isak whispered in his ear, “To finding love.”

+

Later that night, Even lay naked and sated next to Isak, using his fingers to map the pane of Isak’s back, collecting knowledge of his freckles and beauty marks.

He let his hand run up and down the blond’s back, slowly like Isak’s breathing, and whispered into the dark, “I am really lucky to have you.”

Isak huffed against the pillow, turning his face in the direction of Even’s voice. “I love you too, baby.” His voice soft as silk and sweet as honey.

Even let his hand drift ever lower, across the swell of Isak’s bottom. He couldn’t resist teasing, “All the people who love me, got me gifts.”

Isak pushed into his wandering hand and used his own to take hold of Even’s hip. “I would argue what I did earlier was very gifted.” He pulled at Even’s hip, making him turn on his side, until he had Even slotted against his back. He lifted his chin for a kiss, and Even happily accepted the request letting his hand continue to skirt up and down Isak’s side. When they pulled apart, Isak leaned his head on Even’s shoulder. “I do have a gift for you… but you’ll have to be patient... It isn’t ready yet.”

Even groaned, pressing further into the blond. “Fine.” He breathed out. “Isak?” He waited for the blond to utter a quiet acknowledgment. “How many Isak and Even’s are doing this right now?”

The blond reached his hand back and pulled at Even’s hair. “All of them, maybe?”

Even smiled into the blond’s neck, licking at the expanse of skin available to him. “Are they happy?”

Isak kissed at the parts of Even he could reach, pulling his hands to his lips, and placing soft pecks on each finger. “Extremely.”

Even slept deeply that night, love singing out loudly from his soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies
> 
> twitter: iwritetropes


	11. Holidays

The baby was still breech.

They were within a month of the due date. It was cold and snowing outside, and Even was now worried for the fact his baby did not feel like being in the proper position for birth. Even was freaking out.

“Calm down.” Sonja said from her seat, rubbing at the base of her bump, watching the image jump on the ultrasound. “It’s just like your child to be a pain in my side.” She poked at her stomach. “Stop that.”

Even couldn’t understand how she was so calm, after all it was her body that was carrying his child. He paced up and down the room, wearing down the tiles, and likely giving the two others in the room a tension headache. If the baby was breech, what would it mean for the birth? Would there be any complications, could this be fixed?

“Even sit down.” Isak said from his location at Sonja’s side. “We will do what we can to correct the baby’s position. Everything is looking good otherwise, and if things don’t change than we deal with it.” His voice was so calm, as if he wasn’t worried at all, and Even couldn’t help but slow his pace before returning to his side.

“And how do we deal with it?” Even had to be sure it would be okay.

Isak lowered the ultrasound wand and moved to wipe his hands before settling. “If the baby is not in the correct position during labor than we plan for a c-section. But before that, as we get closer to the date, I will try to turn the baby myself. I am keeping you updated so you are prepared, not so that you worry.” Isak took hold of Even’s hand, anchoring him.

Even breathed out. “Okay. So, it isn’t something to worry about?”

“Not yet. We will check again next appointment at thirty-seven weeks. If the baby is still breech, I will try to turn them myself.” He squeezed Even’s hand and pat Sonja’s arm in front of him. “Things are looking good. You have other things to worry about.”

He gestured to the snow outside, and Even was reminded of the date. The baby was due in two weeks. December 21st. Even had to make sure everything was ready. He had the holidays to plan for, his first one with both the baby and Isak. Even wanted it to be perfect. Isak was right. There were other things to focus on.

“We will have a plan next week, okay?” Isak placed his forehead on Even, lending the father to be his calm.

“Okay.” Even was so thankful for him.

“Sounds good, can I go home now?” Sonja asked from beside them.

Even laughed. “Do you want a ride home?”

“I am not walking any more than I have to on these ankles.”

Even nodded, leaning in to give a kiss goodbye to Isak. “I’ll see you at home?” Isak nodded happily.

Sonja made a noise of disgust. “I still hate that.” She poked Even’s cheek when he came to help her down. “So cheesy.” But she was smiling all the way home.

+

The snow was falling gently on the streets, and Even sat in the appointment room as Isak, under the watchful gaze of Dr. Skrulle, began to move the baby around so that it would no longer be in breech position.

Even had a sneaking suspicion it was taking longer than needed because Isak kept rolling his eyes instead of focusing, and Doctor Skrulle kept interrupting his questions with anecdotes of her sexual conquests.

Even didn’t even have it in him to be nervous at the procedure because the doctor’s words were so over the top and sensational that Even was a little bit hooked.

“And that is how Anders and I discovered that he was particularly ticklish under his left elbow.” Dr. Skrulle said simply, as if anything that she had been saying could be categorized that way.

Isak ignored her, moving her gently out of his way, as he continued to work with Sonja to move the baby.

“Fascinating.” Even said, smirking when he caught the look Isak shot him for engaging in the discussion. “And you said it all started because you told him you didn’t like cardamom?”

That started Dr. Skrulle on another tangent, but she was somehow still able to refocus Isak and point out when he needed to change his tactics. It wasn’t long at all in fact, before they were finished their appointment, and the baby was facing the right direction. Although, they were warned they would need to monitor everything.

“You must be so excited.” Dr. Skrulle said, patting Even’s arm heavily. “One more week and tada! Baby for Christmas.”

Even felt his cheeks warm as the smile broke on his lips. “Yeah. We will be having a quiet one I guess.” The look Isak shared with him was bright and sunny.

“Well. Never trust things to go as planned.” Dr. Skrulle said, ignoring the way Even’s smile dropped. “Anyways, see you next time.” And she was off.

Even looked to Isak for clarification.

Isak rubbed his shoulder where the doctor had hit him. “She’s just odd. She just means due dates aren’t certain so keep your eyes keen to notice everything.”

“God, this baby better get here soon.” Sonja complained. “I want to eat a big Christmas meal, and I want to do it with more stomach space than baby.”

Isak smiled. “We’re getting there. Don’t you worry.”

+

December 21st came and went. The baby didn’t.

+

“Hello.” Even pressed his face to the bump in front of him. “I am waiting for you. It’s rude to be late.”

“Maybe it’s just comfy in there and cold out here. Maybe the baby likes its room and is too sleepy to come out.” Isak yawned from beside Sonja. The room was alive with chatter and most of their friends were being kind enough to ignore Even shouting at the baby bump.

“God. It really is Even’s child.” Sonja complained, head leaning on the back of the couch. Even huffed but stood to join her on her other side.

It was Christmas Eve, and the baby had yet to make an appearance.

They had been invited as a group to have a celebration at Jonas and Isak’s apartment, and Even didn’t want to say no knowing that he would only spend the time alone waiting anxiously for a call from Sonja. So, when he arrived to learn that Isak had already invited her, he couldn’t help but sweep his boyfriend into a hug so large that it felt like it encompassed the whole group. By the way they were laughing at him, Even thought it might as well have.

The night had been tame, but full of merry. Even enjoyed sweets, finding all types hidden away in the kitchen, that he shared with Sonja. When Isak rolled his eyes at him, Even offered him a piece of his cake, making sure he said it sweetly after taking a rather suggestive bite.

And as the night wore on, it seemed it was doomed to be another quiet one. As Even waited anxiously for the baby, the baby continued to take its time.

Soon Sonja was bidding everyone adieu, and Even would be left waiting again to see if he would receive a call.

Despite the fact it was Isak’s house, when Even started to make the rounds wishing his goodbyes, Isak stood up to get ready as well.

“You don’t want to stay here tonight? It’s gonna be a cold walk home…” Even offered, trying to give Isak an out.

“Don’t be stupid.” Isak said, as he collected his coat and an overnight bag, which appeared to be suspiciously bulky. Isak hide it from view when he caught Even looking. “Our first Christmas will be spent together.”

Even melted at his words, pulling Isak to him and nuzzling into his warmth.

Jonas led them to the door, quiet as they made sure they had all their things. “Merry Christmas, you two.” He said, pulling Isak into a hug. “Hopefully the next time I see you, it’s as a family.”

Isak blushed at the boldness of the statement, but Even beamed proudly as he took hold of Isak’s hand. “A Merry Christmas from the Bech Næsheims!” Isak buried his face into Even’s shoulder, but he didn’t say anything to negate Even’s words.

“Oh my God, he really is in love!” Magnus yelled from living room.

“Don’t be jealous!” Isak said. “We all know it’s from the Valtersens anyways.” Jonas laughed aloud.

“We can be whatever you want baby, as long as we’re a we.” Even whispered, and Isak leaned forward for a kiss.

“Get out of my house.” Jonas said, ushering them further out the door.

“I live here too.” Isak squawked but let himself be pushed.

“Irrelevant.” Jonas said. “Now, good night.”

And it was.

+

Even woke early in hopes of being able to give Isak a Christmas spread. He cooked eggs and bacon, did what he could to put on some premade gingerbread cookies, and started making coffee. He settled down to wait out the oven timer and texted Sonja.

_Merry Christmas!_

Sonja: _I am still pregnant._

Sonja: _Merry Christmas._

_I was also hoping you wouldn’t be._

_Sonja: Baby seems very comfortable. Don’t hold your breath._

_Just keep me updated._

Sonja: _Will do, daddio._

Isak made his way into the kitchen just as the coffee maker beeped. Even suspected that the smell of coffee might have been the only reason Isak left the bedroom at all. He made no noise but placed a kiss on Even’s lips before heading right to the oven to set himself up with a plate and mug.

They ate quietly, and it wasn’t until the gingerbread cookies were ready and plated that they made their way to the small tree that Even had set up in his living room.

“We’re going to need a bigger one for next year.” Isak mused from beside him, making Even’s heart hurt pleasantly from the certainty in his voice.

“We can do that.”

Isak looked at him softly. “Enough of that you sap, Christmas presents.” He pulled at a present he had put under the tree the night before and handed it to Even. “Open it.”

Even peeled at the wrapping paper, taking more time pulling the paper and tape apart than Isak probably did in wrapping it. If Isak’s groan was anything to go by, Even was definitely being slow. “This is an important moment Isak. It’s our first presents to each other. I have to cherish it.”

“We will give hundreds of presents to each other. You can’t be like this all the time.”

Even scoffed at Isak’s words but quickened his pace. Isak had gotten them two ornaments. Each was shaped like a puzzle piece, with their names separated, but able to connect together. On the left piece, Even’s name was spelt out, as well as the words “ _Our First_.” On the right piece, Isak’s name was written with the word “ _Christmas_ ” below it. Even ran his fingers over the engraved words, etching them into his memory along with the promise they held.

“We are having more than one Christmas?” He joked, trying to hide as he wiped at his eyes to dispel any tears that the thoughtful gift had caused.

“I sure hope so. That’s what you told me before anyways. We’re getting married, aren’t we?” Isak’s eyebrows were pulled inward, all mock confusion, but his words were sincere, and Even’s heart filled further. “I had hoped that I would be getting us a third piece.” He explained, tracing Even’s name, mirroring how Even was tracing at Isak’s. “But baby decided to be a bit late. We’ll have to wait until next year for that one.”

Even pulled him into a kiss, his soft lips had just finished forming the last words. He swallowed any further sounds Isak made, eager to take all of him. “I love you.” He whispered against Isak’s lips.

Isak pulled away slowly, but he seemed dazed. He struggled to get his words out. “What is my present?”

Even smirked at the eager tone. He reached under the tree, and pulled out a small package for the blond, placing it into his open hands. “It’s not much.” He warned. “I didn’t think I would have a lot of time for this.”

Isak was so focused on the present in his hand, opening it and looking at what Even’s got him for a long time. Even watched how his face faded from concentration to confusion, before understanding dawned in his eyes. He looked up at Even with a soft smile on his face. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Well, you’re here all the time.” Even reasoned.

Isak lifted the key to the apartment out of the box it was in and held it softly in his hand. “You know, yesterday Jonas said to me that it was probably going to be the last time he saw me in the apartment with him. Now, I’m going to have to text him that he’s right.”

“So. you’ll move in with me?” Even didn’t mean for his voice to sound so hopeful.

“You’re never getting rid of me.” Isak said, kissing Even.

“Just how I want it.”

+

Days passed and no news. Even was beginning to think the whole baby business had been in his head the whole time.

+

“I must have been lying to you all.” Even reasoned.

He was surrounded by his friends, acquaintances, and their girlfriends taking up space all about his living room, his kitchen, and the bedrooms munching on party food and drinking beer.

Mikael threw a chip at him. “There is a picture from the sonogram right there. We can all see the baby.”

“You just have to be patient. The baby will come when its ready.” Yousef reasoned. Even stuck his tongue out at him in response.

“No, I’m with Even. I’m ready to be favourite uncle, and I am not a patient man.” Elias said.

“Obviously, I will be favourite uncle.” Mikael responded, throwing a chip at Elias too, for good measure. It sort of backfired when Elias caught it and ate it though.

“Can I be favourite uncle?” Magnus asked.

“Of course, you can, Magnus.” Even answered. He ignored Isak’s snort beside him.

“You all act like I am not here.” Isak stated.

Even turned to look at him, confused, but was interrupted by Jonas. “Oh please, Isak. Don’t be so obvious when you want to know something. If Even gives us any indication of what the baby is going to be like, you’re going to be the favourite parent.”

Even laughed, looking to Isak as his cheeks reddened at his friend’s words. Even’s mirth died as his boyfriend glared at Jonas, throwing a couch pillow in his direction with quite a bit of strength. Jonas’ smile died as well, realizing he embarrassed his friend.

“Isak…” Even whispered, only for his boyfriend’s ears. “Do you want the baby to call you Papa?” His friends sure seemed to think so, and their presents from the baby shower and Christmas had eased Even’s worry by suggesting Isak was in it for the long hall. As Even waited for the blond to answer, he realized they didn’t actually talk about the logistics of how they should act around the baby. Even thought it was obvious that he would want Isak to be an important part of the baby’s life, but as he saw Isak refusing to look at him, he realized that his lack of discussion on the matter might be making Isak uneasy. “Because I would love that.” He clarified.

Isak’s head shot up to look him in the eyes, “Really?” He breathed out. He smiled brightly at Even’s nod. Shaking off the uncertainty of the earlier moment, Isak looked back at Jonas. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll take favourite parent over uncle any day.”

Even made a noise of protest, but his smile ruined it. “We can share that, I think.”

Isak snorted. “Fine.”

“Not to disrupt the moment, but the countdown is starting.” Mahdi said from near the TV.

All eyes turned to it and a chorus of voices began to count the descent. “Ten…Nine…Eight…Seven…Six…”

Even turned to the blond before him. His beautiful ringlets catching in the light of the living room, his cheeks stained pink in excitement, his cupid’s bow working over the words he was shouting. Even had never felt so strongly about someone before, and he knew this was only the beginning with Isak. He was creating a new family for himself, a home, and a love that would build upon the feelings he had right now. He felt so full, so happy and so lucky, that he could not believe he was going to be able to keep this feeling, to grow upon it and foster it into the most amazing thing he would have.

Even watched the man he loved countdown, and when Isak reached one, Even watched his person turn to focus solely on him. He watched Isak’s green eyes take in Even’s hungry blue. He watched Isak lick his lips, before glancing down at Even’s, and he watched Isak lean further into him, chasing his lips. Even accepted the sweet kiss easily, taking and taking until it was no longer sweet. He followed Isak’s lips when he pulled away and did not let them go until he was sure that he had taken his boyfriend’s breath away.

“Happy New Year.” Isak panted when he was finally able to speak again.

Even traced his kiss swollen lips and watched how Isak’s gaze darkened further. “Happy New Year, baby.”

+

The house did not empty until hours later, and the rooms were a mess, but Even had more to focus on than cleaning.

Even and Isak moved as if one. They chased release in each other’s arms. Even loved how Isak pulled him in, begging him to stay near and dominate him. In return Even showered Isak with kisses, small touches, and licks, painting his skin with Even’s love. 

Isak was quiet, but his words felt as if they were ringing throughout the city for all to hear. “Even… baby… please.”

So Even gave. He gave Isak all of him, and Isak took it. He cradled it and returned the same pleasure to Even.

When they settled for the night, it was with the knowledge that they would face the world together. Even knew they would overcome any future worries with love.

+

When a loud wail broke the quiet of the room, Even’s first reaction was to push at Isak urging him to stop the noise.

“It’s not me.” The blond mumbled, turning further into his pillow and moving to cover his ears.

Even felt around for the noise, hoping he would hit it quiet, but it fell silent before he could find it. When the wailing began anew, Even opened his eyes to help his search. He groggily located the phone on its third ring, noting the time, 8:11. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank god!” Sonja’s strained voice came shrilly over the line. Even shot up awake immediately. “I think you need to come get me.”

“I’m coming!” Even turned to Isak who had buried his head under the pillow to escape Even’s words. Even pushed at his shoulder. “Isak. We need to move.”

The blond looked over at Even, eyes squinting out from under the pillow, glaring at him in accusation and confusion. “Why do we need to move?”

At any other time Even would find Isak’s grumpiness endearing, but they had places to be. “That was Sonja calling. I’m going to pick her up.” He got up and gathered all the necessities he had prepared in a bag by the bed.

It took a moment for understanding to dawn on Isak’s face. “Oh shit!” He was up quick, searching for clothing among the mess of the floor. “Of course, your baby is coming! It’s only New Year’s Day! The house is a mess.”

In hindsight Even would find it highly amusing that Isak was freaking out while Even himself felt as calm as still water. At the moment, he just placed his hands on his boyfriend’s bare shoulders. “I am going to get Sonja. You are going to get ready and meet us at the hospital, okay?. At Isak’s sharp nod, Even stepped back. “Okay. I love you. We are going to have a baby.” He kissed Isak’s slack lips and moved to leave so that he could make his way to Sonja.

He only heard Isak’s voice as he was exiting the apartment.

“We’re having a baby. I love you too.”

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that makes one more to go.
> 
> I had to give the baby a birth date and christmas is pretty important for Evak so we get to have Christmas in summer time. :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> Find me @
> 
> Tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> Twitter: iwritetropes


	12. Birthdays

The labor was a long and arduous process. It lasted hours and Even felt exhausted, even though he didn’t do anything during it.

He spent his time holding Sonja’s hands. He moved out of Isak’s way, and Dr. Skrulle’s too, when they asked it.

Even felt useless, so he spent his time calling family and friends, letting them know their whereabouts.

He spent a chunk of time on a conference call with Mikael and Elias that was so loud and excited that he ended up kicked out of the room to fetch water and ice for Sonja.

Even wiped at Sonja’s brow, he fetched whatever was asked of him, he let Sonja squeeze his hand so hard that he lost feeling in it, and still the labor continued.

Even was really just beginning to understand that the process of childbirth was long and complex, and he spent a moment just recognizing the hard work Sonja and Isak were putting into the process. He was in awe of their skills and determination.

When the first wail washed over the room, Even felt his heart burst.

He watched the small baby be cleaned and wrapped in a blanket. He watched as checkups were made. He watched as the baby was offered to Sonja by a nurse, and at her head shake, Even was given his newborn child to hold for the first time.

The nurse placed this fragile being in Even’s arms. He felt a weight fall on his shoulders. A desire to protect this baby from all of the things in the world that could hurt it. He held his world in his arms, and the man he loved made his way to him, cradling Even the same way that Even cradled his child. As if, to Isak, he was as precious as this beautiful gift in his arms.

“Even.” Isak whispered, his voice so reverent Even tore his eyes from the gift in his arms. Isak was not looking at him, but at the baby. His green eyes were misted and wide. “I want you to meet your baby girl.”

Even let out a sob so strong it rocked him to his core. He turned into Isak’s arms cradling his daughter between their chests. Her hand grasping tightly onto Even’s finger. She was already so strong, and Even was blown away by it. He pressed a kiss to his daughter’s hand and lifted his head to receive one from Isak in turn.

“Hello there.” He said to his baby girl. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“We have been waiting.” Isak added, finger softly tracing the baby’s hand.

Even had never felt so whole.

He felt accomplished.

He felt complete.

+

Juliet Bech Næsheim was born on January 1st at 21:21.

Even spent the next 24 hours in hospital by her side.

Sonja was healthy and well. She was healing quickly and excited to meet the baby. “I hope you know I want cool aunt treatment.” She said, looking at the baby, as Even fused over the two of them.

“Sonja, you’re her mother.” Even sighed. “You are way more important than her aunt.”

Sonja considered him. “I am still sure of my decision, Even.” She told him seriously. “This is your baby. I am happy to be there for you and Juliet when you need me, but she is your daughter.”

Even admired her decision. “Thank you, Sonja. You know you are welcome in her life.” He was serious too. Sonja was his daughter’s mother. She gave him the most important thing in his life.

“And I will be.” She cooed at the baby. “She will know who I am and know that I love her. She will also just live with the best dad she could ask for and his hot doctor boyfriend.”

Even laughed out loud. “Between the three of us, she is going to get a lot of love.”

Sonja joined in. “Us, and your parents, and the hell hounds you call friends.”

Even stroked his daughter’s cheek. “Yeah. She will definitely know love.”

+

Even was able to take Juliet home on the 2nd. Isak had taken the day off to accommodate the momentous occasion.

He entered the house and greeted Isak with a kiss. The house was clean and Even couldn’t help but tease Isak for its state. “It takes a baby to get you to clean up?”

Isak huffed. “If you’re going to make fun of me for doing housework, then I hope you are ready to never get help again.”

“I’m kidding.” Even laughed. “Thank you and I love you… but also don’t be grumpier than the baby.”

Isak stuck his tongue out at him, and took Juliet out of his arms, so that he could orient himself in the house after two days absence. Even moved about his bedroom putting things in their place and collecting a towel to shower. When Even returned from washing, he found Isak and Juliet sat in the large rocking chair reading a book called _Rocket Science for Babies_.

“Where did that come from?” he asked, taking up the remaining space on the rocker and shifting Isak so that his back was resting on Even’s chest.

Isak ignored him, continuing to read to his daughter, as Even listened to his soothing voice and cuddled with the two most important people in his life.

When he finished, and Juliet lay quiet in his arms, Isak turned to face Even and finally responded. “I found it at the store when I was getting groceries. There’s a whole series of them.” He spoke to Even, but his eyes were on the baby in his arms. “Listen…”

“Yes?”

“I spoke with Dr. Skrulle about my situation with you and Juliet.” Isak started. Even was immediately nervous, but Isak took one of his hands in his and it helped to calm him. “It isn’t ideal, to be starting a family during my residency, but there are steps that can be taken so that I can have more time with you and Juliet… if that is something you might want.”

Even’s heart felt heavy. It ached, but it was a sweet pain. It was an ache that suggested something in him was growing, was changing until it became what it was always meant to be. It was hard to catch his breath enough to speak, but he pushed through it. His next words, and Isak’s answer, were more important than any need to breathe. “Isak, are you telling me that you are taking time off so you can be here for me and our daughter?” He held his breath for the answer.

Isak’s cheeks were pink, but his smile lit fireworks inside Even. “Yes.” He whispered. “I want to be here with you and our daughter.”

When Juliet’s hand reached out in search of contact, taking hold of Isak’s finger and bringing it down to her small chest, Even knew that they weren’t alone in making this choice.

+

“She has your eyes.” Mikael remarked.

Even watched her blue eyes gazing up at her uncle curiously. She reached for him, and Mikael gladly lifted her up to his eye level, pulling her hand to his face so she could feel at his cheeks.

“Yeah. She does. Just like I hoped she would.” Even agreed.

“She’s beautiful.” Yusef said, cooing at her and giving her his hand to hold, when she was given to him.

“I mean yes and yes to both of those, but oh my god did none of you notice she looks a little like Isak?” Elias asked when he got his hands on her.

Even laughed out loud at his friend’s incredulous tone. She really did look like her Papa. While her eyes, nose and chin were all Even, her mouth was Isak’s with a deep cupid’s bow and plump bottom lip. Her colouring was lighter than him as well. Her cheeks were pale, her eyelashes light, and perhaps his favourite difference was that Juliet’s hair was a lighter blond than his, and it was curled at the ends. It reminded him of how Isak’s bright blond curls were the first feature he noticed on his boyfriend. Now he looked down at his daughter and he saw Isak in her. He saw his future laid before him. There was nothing but time to grow with his daughter and with Isak.

He gazed down at his beautiful baby girl. “I’m kind of proud of that.”

There was a chorus of groans at his admittance.

“You’re so gross.” Mikael said.

“We can leave?” Even offered sweetly.

“Don’t you dare!” Elias yelled, cradling Juliet closer to his chest.

So Even spent the rest of the afternoon with his best friends and the uncles to his daughter as they ignored him for the baby they kept fighting to have a hold of.

His days just kept getting better.

+

When Isak’s friends showed up unannounced to meet the baby, it was probably one of the funniest moments of Even’s life.

The doorbell rang, and Isak stood to answer it. Even didn’t think anything of it until he heard a loud yell followed by excited screams.

“Oh my god, you’re wearing it!” Even could hear Magnus’ gleeful voice from across the apartment.

“You aren’t welcome here. Please leave.” Even could hear the struggle as Isak tried to close the door as three bodies fell against it forcing it open.

“It’s not a big deal Isak.” It was clear Isak lost when Even heard Jonas’ voice growing nearer. “Mags’ is only kidding- Oh my god!” His grin was huge when he took in Even sitting on the floor.

“Hi Jonas.” Even gazed at him curiously. He noticed the brunet was staring at his chest, and when he looked down, he realized why. Even was proudly wearing the sweater that proclaimed him a certified DILF.

Isak trailed in behind his friends, cheeks pink and hair messy from where he had pulled his _Baby Daddy_ snapback off of his head. He ignored his friends’ laughter, to return to his spot next to Even in front of Juliet. “You aren’t welcome to see her.” He pouted as he dropped the hat and he took Juliet into his arms.

Even happily took hold of the discarded hat and placed it back on top of Isak’s curls. “Isak introduce our daughter to her uncles.”

Isak grumbled but complied.

“God, you two are perfect for each other.” Mahdi said, happily accepting the baby as she was offered to him. “It’s kind of gross.”

“Totally gross.” Magnus agreed.

“I think it’s kind of sweet.” Jonas disagreed, happily accepting the high five Even offered him in return for his words.

+

“My baby shower present has finally arrived.” Isak said out loud in the dark one night.

Even turned to him in the bed. They had just succeeded in getting Juliet to sleep, and Even was struggling to get any sleep he could while he listened intently to the monitor for any sound from her room where Isak had put her down for the night. “A little late for that, isn’t it?” He joked.

Isak poked him in retaliation. “If you don’t want it just say so. I had a really good reason for it being late.”

Even took Isak’s hands into his, pulling the blond closer in the dark. “I want it.” He promised.

Isak pulled away, slipping out of the bed and pulling Even with him.

Even followed him through the apartment and into the living room where Isak had placed a large parcel on top of the table. Even looked to Isak curiously, but only received a shrug in reply.

Even felt at the parcel, testing its weight and sturdiness in his hands. It was thin and square, but heavier than he expected. When Even heard Isak’s impatient sigh, he finally ripped at the packaging.

When the gift’s contents became clear to Even, he stared at it in wonder. It was a photo frame, thick and black. Even’s hands skirted over the frame again and again as he took in the image. “Isak…” He breathed out.

“Do you like it?” Isak asked from where he was stood, taking in Even’s expression.

“It’s beautiful.” Even promised. The frame was holding an image of the stars in the night sky. Written on the bottom of the image, in looping text, were the words, _January 1 st. 21:21. Welcome Juliet_.

“You see, I had to wait to make this when the baby was born.” Isak explained accepting Even into his arms for a kiss. “It’s the star map of the night sky above Oslo at the time she was born.” He explained.

Even pulled Isak into another kiss, pouring every feeling of love and hope and joy that he felt into his actions. By the way Isak was pulling at his hair, Even assumed he got the message. “Isak, I love it.” He said when he finally pulled away.

“I thought you might want to remember such an important time in our lives.”

“I get to see how that day looked to the universe.” Even said. “You gave me the universe.” He didn’t know how he could even begin to explain just how much this meant to him.

Isak pulled at Even’s hand, eyes vulnerable and words honest. “You gave me the universe. I just wanted to start paying back the favour.”

+

The days were long and some harder than others. Even and Isak worked together to navigate the new waters of parenthood.

They had so much support, and so much love in their lives, but Even couldn’t help but love the moments when it was the three of them alone the best. He loved to watch Isak cradle their daughter. He longed to hear the sharp bells of her laughter, watch her eyes crinkle in mirth and widen in curiosity.

He loved watching Juliet learn and grow, becoming more sweet and courageous every day. Juliet was brilliant and her personality was huge, becoming more obvious every day. She loved listening to Isak read, and she loved when Even sat with her to listen.

Even had so many firsts to look forward to with his loving family. He couldn’t wait for each new day. And as Isak smiled brightly at Even when he entered the nursery one early morning, offering coffee in exchange for his fussy daughter, Even knew that his future was bright.

He had made the best choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who took a chance on this fic. I had so much fun writing it and taking the chance to explore one of Evak's parallel universes. I really want to think anyone who took the time to leave a kudos or comment (those of you who left more than one have made me so excited to continue with a chapter just so I got the chance to see what you thought).
> 
> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com  
> or on twitter at iwritetropes
> 
> You can find updates on my fic plans and ideas as well as just general thoughts/feelings about skam and remakes there.
> 
> Alt er Love <3


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